So far not so good.
I made it two days and then crashed and burned in a split second of weakness. I walked outside this morning with my cup of joe and my father was on my back porch watching the boys playing in the backyard. Just the site of him sitting there drinking his coffee and smoking a butt had me drooling worse than Jake when he watches me eat steak. I bummed one. It was so good you'd have thought I was shooting up heroin. How I could miss something so much that I've really come to hate is crazy. When I was done the guilt was palatable. Shit. Two days and BAM! Failure.
So I started anew from that moment on. I have the patch and havent used them. I really didnt want a crutch. I just wanted to quit cold turkey. So on advice from Edith of Mrs Bunkers Chainsaw Emporium I went down to the pharmacy and got some nicorette gum. So far so good on attempt number 2. The gum seems to be working as it takes the edge off the urge.
Its really weird how your mind works. When I'm craving a cigarette I try to make deals with myself. Oh just go get a pack and we'll start when all the other bullshit is over. or Just wait and quit next week. or Bum one from dad and it'll be ok, its only one. My mind is definatley messing with me. I dont want to smoke anymore but I WANT a cigarette. Gah!! I wish I could be put in a coma for two weeks.
After falling off the wagon then climbing back on incident, I just hung by the pool until early afternoon. What a beautiful day. Low 70's and pure blue skies. After the pool I showered and went with my nabor to the Las Olas Art Fair. Saw a bunch of nice stuff that I cant afford and stuff that I wouldnt buy if I could afford it. To each his own I guess.
Anytime I go down to Las Olas there is a store I love that has a ton of fun stuff in it. I think its called Things Remembered. I brought a cool bracelet that will mark the day I quit smoking.
While walking around in there a song came on that brought me waaaaaaaay back to my childhood. I was only five when this came out but I can actually remember hearing it while riding in the old brown station wagon on that fabulous non-stereo AM radio with big old nobs and pushbutton station finders. And I loved the song.
Bobby Sherman was a cutie. Nice dimple in that chin dude!!
Its only 9:30pm but I'm whooped. Off to bed I go. That'll be 12 more hours smoke free. yay me.