Monday, June 29, 2009

Dare to Slack

I work with some of these and I am some of these. They make me LMAO.

Definately me. Why praytell would I work harder than I have to when I can achieve the same result with half effort...

I despise training people. In fact we have a whole training department thats supposed to do that. Idiots make me crazy. Why do I have to tell you shit 3 times??

This one just makes me laugh. So corporate Amerika.

Yeah, and all those stoopid study groups our upper management puts together and ask for the little people to volunteer for so you think your helping to find solutions for the "problems"...

Yup, sorry. true. I might be just a tad bitter.

THIS is why I totally believe in flying "right below" the radar at work.

So I'm feeling a little pessimistic today. Sue Me!!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Perfect 10

I watched the Charlies Angels series when I was growing up. It was just one of those shows you watched. I remember being mad when Farrah wasnt on the show anymore after the first season. I liked her. She was beautiful. Everything I wasnt but wanted to be. Blonde, perfect body (10) and all the boys in my class loved her. I caught The Burning Bed when it came out. Probably on a Sunday afternoon while folding laundry and nothing else was on. It was good. And she was with Ryan O'Neal. And when I was younger, I thought he was a hottie. How lucky was she!!

I caught the Farrah's Story thing she filmed about her fight (obviously) with cancer. A documentary I guess. All I can say is, wow. What a woman. She faught the war and lost as most do. But what a warrior. She never gave up. It was a heart wrenching show. Here is a woman who was known as "the most beautiful" woman, the Perfect 10. And can I tell you, that documentary showed her at her most unpretty moments. What a gift she gave to all those fighting cancer. To not give up and to do everything you can. Dont go down without giving your all.

She never gave up. I have a feeling she was kicking and screaming right up till the end. RIP Farrah.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

The best MJ video is a JJ video

Frank is right. Janet is way better than her dearly departed bro.

One hott video. And my favorite from JJ. Its all about the hott men for me, and JJ knows how to pick 'em. Gia this one's for you!

and as far as bad ass....Janet got it goin on in this one.

And if I had to pick a MJ song/video I liked best...dontcha know his sissy happens to be in it!!

Happy Ending

I'm about to get random on your asses. Lots of shit, and only a few minutes to get it out on here. I'm buzzzzzzzy biatches!!

First, I go see Dr. Gorgeous today a new cast. I was sooooo ready to get into an ankle brace or somethin, anything but another cast. Pain in the ass. He promised to let me out of the cast in two weeks and I could wear an ankle brace after that. So I was totally tired of the blue. I got purple. Yeah, great fuckin idea until I walked into work and heard, "Hey Barney" like 10 times in 5 minutes. Great, I'm gonna stab someone in the eyeball if I hear that for two weeks. And the purple totally clashes with my blue toenails. Ima do my toes tomorrow. I think Pink or something dark is in order. We'll see.

I posted the pic on my facebook page and caught shit on there too. pffft. I also heard about the basket of dog toys in the background and the laundry on the table. Yeah, the boys are spoiled and weeeeeeeeeee another fabulous friday night of laundry and non stop Michael Jackson on all 157 channels. Dont even get me started on the 24/7 coverage of that. I'm over it already.

Ok, now after the cast thingy I go back to work for an hour then head over to my chiropractors office for a little cracky and massage. My boy Gus is one HoTT massage therapist. And lets just say, I would kill for a Happy Ending from him! ;) Todays massage was the first since getting the cast on and honestly, I havent been for at least a month or so. Gus made my day...well almost lol. He starts off with my shoulders which are always jacked up and was movin down to my mid back and he was all like, "Want me to do your hip?? Its probably messed up from draggin the cast around." I answered too quick I'm sure. YESSSSSSSSSS Pleeeeease do my hip. I'll stop here and just say, NO I didnt get my happy ending. A girl can dream cant she?? I made an appointment for next wednesday. I'm goin back for more!!!!!!!

Ok, then part three of my day......I got three mofo deals at work this week. Two today. I rock. Deals make it not suck so much. I'll mentally prepare for the post-deal-depression thats sure to hit on Monday.

Update on Remi...doc thinks he has a pinched nerve in his neck. He's gonna be a watch and wait patient. great.

Have a great weekend all!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Wonder Dog

Spaz Boy Remi (aka: some sort of medical problem as yet to be dx'd) spent the weekend swimming, running and playing at my parents. You'd never know there was anything wrong with the wonder dog. I'm gonna spend $65.00 tomorrow for the vet to tell me.......nothing. Guaranteed. Well it'll be a lot more after his annual shots and such. Darn dogs cost me almost as much as the kid used too. ::rolls eyes::

Anywhooooo, heres video of the little nutjob...yes, he will dunk and dive under water for a coconut or anything else he wants that sinks. lol Like I said, spaz.

And Remi will swim, just to swim. He swims in circles and he splashes so he can bite the water. Spaz extraordinaire.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Somethings Wrong

Theres something wrong with Remi's front legs. I think he's got some sort of neurological problem, a palsy or something. I dont know. shit.

About 3 months ago, I came home at lunch and he hopped off his chair and literally went down. It was like his front legs wouldnt work. They almost looked like they were paralyzed. I called my dad imediatley...he said call the vet. By the time the vet answered within 3 minutes after this started you could see his legs starting to "come back" to him. He was starting to walk and within 5-7 minutes, it was like nothing was wrong.

I explained all this to the vet. They said, maybe they just fell asleep, if you want bring him in. But if nothings going on, we really cant tell anything without extensive testing. Just keep an eye on him and if it happens again, call us.

Its happened, not as bad as the first time I'd say 4 - 5 more times. you could see he was having trouble and then it goes away really quick. It typically happens after he's been lying down.

Today, I get home at lunch...he runs outside and I could tell it was gonna happen. And sure as shit it just slowly got to the point where he couldnt stand on his front legs. Its sooo sad, you can tell he's scared and has a very confused look wondering why he cant get up on them. Once again it was gone within 2-3 minutes. Then he's running on them fine. What scares the shit out of me is that its happened again tonight. Not as bad as today, and mostly one side.

I've called the vet just about everytime this has happened and they've told me, unless they "see" it happening, they prolly cant tell what it is. I'm so annoyed, scared, pissed and unbelievably sad. I have a gut feeling this is not going to end well for Remi and it breaks my heart.

Remi was supposed to be a monster lab. His father is a 100lb award winning dog. His name is Tank if that tells you anything. His mother is 75lbs and thats big for a female. Remi is small. If he's 55-60lbs thats probably on the generous side of my guess. This may not make sense but, his front parts just look small. Almost like a kid with Cerebral Palsy. You know how their limbs are just small and skinny, due to muscle atrophy?? He kinda has front legs that look like that. I dont know, maybe I'm imagining it. All I know is there is something wrong. And I dont know what to do about it.

Canis Domesticus

THE most adaptable dog I've ever met.

When he falls asleep, the legs have got to hold him up...



Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Miss Miss Mucho

Got a new schedule at work that started today. 8am - 4:30pm. It makes my day not suck so bad. But the only caveat is if I'm late more than two times I go back to the old suckier schedule of 8:30-5:00. I'm late every other day. This should be fun. I made it today with 10 minutes to spare. Coulda stayed in bed an extra 10 glorius sleep filled minutes. That mindset is the beginning of my downfall. =0

And Pavlov was totally right about dogs (I think). My alarm went off at 6a vs the normal 6:45a and Remi was all like...??????? Wha??? Why ya gettin up so early??? He KNOWS what time everything is done. When I get up, when I get in the shower, when I'm leaving, when I get home for lunch, after work, go to bed... you get the idea. He has an internal clock that's amazing. He (Jakes pretty good at this too) even knows when we're on weekend schedule. So this means the cute little fuhker is gonna start getting me up earlier on weekends! Arrrrrrrrgh. crap.

And I miss my kid more than usual this week. I hate the Navy this week. I hate that I'm prolly not gonna see her for another month (hopefully thats all), maybe longer. Talking and texting is beginning to not cut it. I'm at the longer than 2 months since I've SEEN her part of my misery. The other mothers out there may get this....I need to touch her, hug her and not only that, smell her. I know it sounds weird. But it is what it is. Whine over.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Dog Daze of Summer

Stare all you want boys, your not getting my popsicle....

Broke (or tied?) a record down in Miama today. 94. Ugh. Only 92 in Broward though.

Friday, June 12, 2009


Even tho I'm a Jersey girl by birth, never did like the Devils. I prolly should like the Panthers since I've lived in SoFla for 20 years, and I do a bit. But I'm a Penguins fan from wayyyyy back!! Always thought Mario was a cutie.

Lord Stanleys Cup is where it belongs!!! Wooohoo Penguins!!!

Disclaimer...I in no way like any other Pittsburgh sports teams. blech Pirates & Steelers. Blech, blech, blech.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Epic Battle with A Bug

Yes, we know I hate Zombies. There is one more thing I hate....yes one thing on this earth that I despise as much if not more. Probably more cause I've never seen a zombie (thank your diety). I live in a state that is teeming with cuckarachas aka cockroaches. I'm not even gonna type that word again, because even doing that gives me the heebie jeebies.

I scream like a little bitch when I see them. I run, I beg for people to kill them for me. You see I can barely even do that. It has to be super extreme special circumstances before I'll kill one. And only by spraying Raid or whatevers close on it. Yes, I've used hairspray and Windex when it was the only thing I could get to. I absolutely will not under NO circumstances ever step on one. ugh. gross. Makes me puke a little in my mouth thinking about it. oh shhhhit, I'm breakin out in a sweat just typing this. I'm serious. I have a phobia. bad. And once they're dead, I cant pick them up. I'll put a papertowel or something over them until I can get someone to come remove the body.

Last night around 10:30ish I decided I wanted to go to bed and try to get a good nights sleep. The last week has been a little rough with the mangled extremity. I go and get ready; pj's, brush teeth, tv & puter off, take an Ambien. And I'm doing the final front door lock check (cause Im OCD like that - gotta check multi times) and for whatever reason I decide to step outside on the patio and bring in the 10 different toys Remi has left out there in case it rains. He is worse than a 5 year old. At least a 5 year old will pick up toys occasionaly.

I walk out the door, close it and start picking up toys. I turn around and SCREEAAAM OMG JESUS CHRIST!! The mother of all mother "you know whats" is sitting not 2 inches from the door handle. IT WAS AT LEAST 2 1/2 inches long. The same flippen door I just came out of! Oh shit. What am I going to do. Oh fuck. I'm trapped outside. No phone, No Raid, and wearing pj's! I'm freaked. I look around for something to throw at the little fuck hoping to get it to scurry away. Rocks! There's little rocks in the garden by the gate. I get some rocks and start throwing them at it. Nothing, Nothing, Nothing, Bam! Hit right next to it. And to my horror, the flippen thing starts flying!!!! OMG its a female!! (only the females fly) Oh shit. It lands right back somewhere near the door, but once it started flying I ran a little and screamed some more so I'm not quite sure exactly where it landed.

Now I'm in a quandry. Do I make a break for it?? Try to get in the door?? What if it is near there and starts flying again and GOSH FORBID lands on me. I would die. I would probably break my other ankle from trying to jump the fence or something. I would most certainly be institutionalized for the rest of my life. I'm serious. I can never, ever be touched by one of these things. So making a break for it is not an option. So I start thinking of what I can do. No phone. FUCK! If I had my phone, I shit you not, I would've called my father and made him come over here and find and kill this flying beast. I'm racking my brain. What to do. And at that exact moment, the beast starts flying around again!! Good thing I didnt make a break for it, cause surely it would have gotten me. It lands. I'm pacing.

I live in a cottage behind a house that a friend lives in. But Dominicks lights are all out. Its now at least 11pm. Yes, this shit has been going on for at least a half hour at this point. I look at the other end of my cottage where there is an efficiency unit that this nice kid who's doing an internship for the Sun Sentinal lives in. AHA!! His lights are on!! I go over to the door and I can hear the tv on inside. I knock. Nothing. I knock again. Nothing again. FUCK. I just want to get inside my place. I want to go to bed. The goddamn Ambien is kicking in at this point. I'm tired.

I go back and stare at my door for awhile longer, trying to get up the nerve to make a break for it. I just cant do it. I try to will my body, but I cant. I look over at the efficiency again. I've got to get him over here. I go back and knock really hard. Yessssssss, movement inside. He comes to the door in his boxers. He opens the door and I'm babbling..."I live next door, I'm terrified of roaches, there is one blocking my front door and terrorizing me, can you please come kill it for me, I beg of you, please??" He just stares at me like I've got three heads and says, "sure let me go get some clothes on". I'm all like, "No, its ok, I've got 4 brothers, I've seen boxers before". He just looks at me again and said, "I'm just gonna put some shoes on". I feel like an idiot. But overjoyed and giddy almost! He's gonna kill the beast!!! yayayayyayayyayayayyay!!

He comes out and walks over to my gate and as he's walking around the corner he sees it and goes "WHOA!!" Ok, thats my vindication. I told you this fucker was big!! He's like hmmm I dont have bug spray. I'm like what can you kill it with?? And then I volunteered my flip flop. I'd throw it away after, but thats ok. He says no, I'll use mine. Now I cant watch the killing. It makes me sick. He's in there and swings at least four times from what I heard and he says, "wow, your a fast one!". Oh shit, please kill it!! Then bam! "Got it!!". And I go look and yep, it was dead on the patio. I thank him and he goes to leave. I'm like, "OH no, can you please get rid of it??" I cant have a dead beast carcass laying around. no, no, no. He looks at me and says, "sure, got a broom?" So I go inside, get the broom and he sweeps it into the bushes. I thank him profusely, promise to make him dinner or buy him a 12 pack or have his first born. Well, not really the first born, but I promise him the moon for saving my life!! He was super sweet, said thats ok and went back to his place. I love that boy. He's my hero.

I go inside and I kid you not, its 11:20pm. Damn near an hour spent fighting a war with a 2 1/2 inch creature. I locked the door, double checked it and was done. I dont think I lasted 5 minutes and was sound asleep. Mentally exhausted from the ordeal and I'm sure the Ambien helped.

It sucks to be that afraid of such a small thing. And it doesnt even bite.

Accessorizin to the Max

Yeah well, I get a call from my ortho on Tuesday night and it goes something like this....

Dr. GeorgeousIWouldntSayNoToHim: Hey Peedee, hows your ankle doin??

Me: Oh Hi Dr. GeorgeousIWouldntSayNoToHim, its ok, bothering me a bit, but then again, I dont take pain meds, just the Tylenol and Motrin so I guess thats to be expected. Whats up??

Dr. GeorgeousIWouldntSayNoToHim: Well, I recieved the radiologist report from the x-rays we took last friday and there appears to be two more fractures. Can you come in tomorow so we can discuss this?

Me: WHAT?!? Two more?? Um yeah, I guess. I'll be there.

So I trudge to the office yesterday and he sits me down and says that because there are now 3 fractures vs just 1, he thinks I need a hard cast. Stability really becomes an issue with multiple fractures. He's had me in a soft cast or removable cast. I think its called a cammiewalker (?)
I'm all like, nooooooooooooooooo, I dont want a hard cast! I like to take this one off to take a shower!!!

I lost the battle and am now sporting a lovely blue cast. I got the blue because it matches my pedicure!!! Its all about the accessories and my cast is a big fat uncomfortable accessory.

Monday, June 8, 2009

It Figures

In January when Lauren graduated boot camp we both switched from an in-state local "el-cheapo" cell service to AT&T. And we both got IPhones. She got the 16 gig & I the 8 gig. Needles to say, I knew this was gonna happen. ARRRRRRG!
I so long for the copy and paste & video features. shit. I love my IPhone and now feel like I'm stuck with a poopy second hand not as good as the new one version. I guess I am.

Apple has just announced a new version of the iPhone: the iPhone 3G S. The “S” apparently stands for “Speed,” with Apple indicating that the new device is “the fastest, most powerful iPhone yet.”

There will be two versions of the iPhone 3G S available: 16GB for $199, and 32GB for $299, and they’ll both be available on June 19th. Meanwhile, Apple also announced that it would be dropping the price on the current generation iPhone - iPhone 3G - to $99.

Other features of the iPhone 3G S include “longer battery life, a high-quality 3 megapixel autofocus camera, easy to use video recording and hands free voice control.” The device will include version 3.0 of iPhone’s OS software, which adds “more than 100 new features,” most notably copy/paste, MMS, and a new “find my iPhone” feature that helps you track down a missing device.


Saturday, June 6, 2009

I Heart Darth Vader

Disney & Star Wars. Two of my favorites. This years dance off was pretty good. I'm such a geek. I <3 Darth Vader.

Sleep. Anywhere, Anytime.

I swear they both sleep 22.5 hours a day.

Lemme just lay my head here on your feets...

Ottoman,, its all good.

Remi makes me smile.

oh, and this little guy (baby iguana) decided to stop by this morning when I was out drinking my coffee on the patio. He hasnt met Remi yet. If he values his life he'll run, very far away.

Friday, June 5, 2009

Yup, you've gone and broke it

Yeah, so I went to my ortho guy today because my ankle and knee were just feeling a little too tweeked. Not tons of pain but enough to keep waking me up at night when I moved around. If you remember, on monday when I was moving I rolled my ankle off a curb and fell slamming my knee into a big old rock while carrying a ginormous dresser.

Now, I'm used to pain and I like to think my threshold is pretty high. I've had 6 surgery's on my (L) knee. Playing softball definately screwed it up. I mostly played 1st base when I started playing at 10 years old with the boys. Little League that is, cause they didnt have girls softball in my town until I was 12. So me and this other girl were good enough to play with the boys, and we did. I started catching at around 12 and played both positions pretty well. Now, catching is probably not the best thing I could have done, but hey, if you've got it, you've got it! lol I had my first surgery during the summer before my freshman year. I wasnt gonna catch anymore. The doc told me its prolly not the best thing for my knees since they seem to be having problems.

The REAL problem was that my freshman year of high school, the softball coach comes up to me and says I hear your a great first baseman, but I really need a catcher since my girl graduated last year and I hear you can catch too! So let me see, hmmmmm, play JV for a year at first base or start on Varsity catching??? Sign me up coach!! I was the starting catcher for 4 years. I made the right choice for my college scholorship, but the wrong choice for my knee. lol Needless to say, I ended up having another surgery 3 days after I graduated high school. BUT, got me a full ride to NC Weslyan to play some softball!! woot woot!! And really it wasnt just softball that fucked my knee. Thru high school I earned 12 varsity letters. Thats 3 per year for you non math majors. Field Hockey in the fall, Basketball in the winter and Softball in the spring. My knee was doomed. I should have been a drama geek, I prolly would've saved my knees. I wont even talk about my 2 years of playing rugby. (what a fun sport!!)

Ok, so back to the present...I see my ortho doc today, (who's known me for 12 years now) and he x-rays the old ankle and knee and its not good. Broke the ankle and obviously tore everything to hell. Casted for 6-8 weeks and the sprain is gonna take longer (obviously) to heal. Fuck. But hey, the good news is that its not displaced so no surgery!! I'm lucky he says since I've been walking around on it for 4 days that it didnt displace. He's pretty sure I tore the MCL and completed the partial tear that I had of my ACL to a complete tear in my Left knee. The Lachmans Test was not pretty. fuhk. fuhk. fuhk. Anyway, we're gonna get the ankle healed up, then get an MRI of the knee and prolly do a Cadaver replacement of the ACL. He said they have this nifty new ACL replacement surgery done orthoscopically. Recovery is fast and no more knee brace when I play ball. ok.

Shit, softball season starts in a month. Not for me. =(

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Bite me Apple

The Kid Bleepin Broke Another Phone! GAH! This time it was a $599.00 16 gig IPhone. Cracked the screen. When asked how this could be, I get......
"No mom, I didnt drop it. No mom, I didnt throw it. No mom, I didnt sit on it. No mom, I didnt get a ride in Blue Angel #3 and the G-forces broke it. NO MOM, I DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO IT!! I JUST LOOKED AT IT AND THE SCREEN WAS CRACKED. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT THIS MOM??? I have to have a phone now cause if I dont I cant call YOU!"

WTF?? I made her buy this phone because shes all rich and shit now that she actually has a job with the Navy. I thought (stupid me) that she could actually keep a phone for more than 6 months without breaking it because she spent her precious money on it! Well guess what?? She's had this phone since January 2. Yup, 6 months 2 days!!! Proved me wrong she did. So she's broke right now until payday on the 15th. Been out partay-ing a little cause thats what you do in the Navy. Duh, ever wonder where the phrase Drunken Sailor came from??

I cant even remember how many phones I've brought this kid. I walked around with a cell phone the size of your portable house phone for years so she could have the best ones. The newest ones. The flip phone, the slide phone, camera phones, video phones, blah, blah blah. The ways in which they broke are just unbelievable. I believe at last count,

(3) ended up in the toilet.
(1) was lost while skateboarding when she hit a crack in the curb and ended up flying into the grass. She can hang onto the phone and chat while riding, but apparently cant hold onto the phone while flying through the air.(never found it, the ants must've taken it)
(1) dropped in the dogs water bowl.
(1) was in her pocket when she wiped out on her bike into a puddle (along with her Ipod).
(2) were left in bathrooms at movie theatres.
(1) was lost to the black hole of deep outer space on Space Mountain in Disney. (I begged them to just let me look around after the ride closed for the night and the lights were on. They weren't going for that one.)

THATS just some of the ways. There are more stories that will make your ears bleed.

Needless to say, IPhones are not insurable. Apples got a fuckin racket going. So because I cant bare to not speak with the little angel, I will fork over $399.00 for an 8 gig IPhone. She was like, "But Ma, I had the 16 gig" and I said "Yes my little spawn of satan, you HAD a 16 gig, you now have an 8 gig unless you want nothing." Screw the 16 gig. She cant keep it long enough to fill up all that space anyway.

It seems the money pit has not finished her reign and strikes from afar... My father just gets a silly grin when this shit happens. I wonder why. I WAS an angel. I swear!!

I'm Just A Girl

Sooooooooooooo, the moves over. Boxes everywhere. I unpack one and three more appear. They're flippen procreating I Know It!!! Jake & Remi are nervous as shit. Following me everywhere in the house. I stop and its like a freight train wreck, first Remi up my ass, then Jake up Remi's ass. I'm all like, "hey, let me open my butt cheeks up and you can climb in." Less walking that way and you'll stop giving my sneakers flat tires.

Oh and I totally busted my ass during the move. Theres a move "injury" every time I try and save 400 bucks and do it myself. My buddy Josh and I were carrying this ginormous dressor and my ankle rolled off a curb when we were turnin a corner. I went down like a ton of bricks, and there was nothing gracefull about it. Fucking took out my knee on this big ol' rock/coral thingy too. Shoulda got a stitch or two now that I look at it, but eh. I'm more pissed that the scars are gonna fuck up my tan. Needless to say, I was a trooper and kept on moving things. My ankle is tweeked too. Good thing softball season doesnt start for another month.

Anyway, tonights the concert I've been waiting for, for like 3 months. I dont know why they gotta sell tickets so far out??? Make me wait forever. They should sell them the week before. Its not like its jojoblow and the blowers, its fucking NO DOUBT! Geesh, you know its gonna sell out. The havent toured together as a group since the Rock Steady tour. (yes I was there) Yeah, sure Gwenns been out making extra bucks on her own, but thats cause she keeps making babies with that hott as fuck hubby of hers. She needs diaper money! Speaking of that hott as fuck hubby, if Gavin shows up I'll wet my pants. Honest. That boy is just delicious. I only need him for a couple of hours...I just want one of his babies!!!! Yeah, I'd totally go thru shitty diapers and teenage angst all over again to have one of his babies. mmmhmmm a girl can dream cant she?

Update: 1:00am post show... Well the stupid internet was down so I couldnt post this earlier. All I can say is AWESOME SHOW!! It was fabulous and the only thing that could have made it better was if my kid was there. I really missed her tonight. The first CD I ever brought her was Tragic Kingdom and No Doubt is her favorite group. I called her when they played her favorite songs. I had 3 beers, I'm buzzed =D and 6:00am is gonna come really fast. Ugh, back to work. 5 days off has been blissfull.