Thursday, July 30, 2009

Stealth Pooping

I'm about to get all shitty on your asses (so to speak)!!

I work in a 12 story building and my company has 2 floors. Bellsouth has a call center in the building and they take up about 4 floors. Whole Foods Corporate offices are on a couple and then there's a bunch of other smaller companies.

This subject is not discussed in polite/gentile company but who said I was polite?? Who said my friends at work were polite?? I'm thinking most of you aren't so polite!

Pooping at work. We all do it, we all hate doing it but sometimes you just cant wait to get home to drop the kids off at the pool. I think its more of a female issue as the guys at work tell us all the time they dont care. They just crap away. Farting while peeing at the urinal is all the rage apparently. ewww. So us girls discussed the fact that we go to someone elses floor to pooh. Its too easy to get busted in our own bathroom. Someone is sure to recognize your shoes/sandals. And that just causes awkward pauses the next time you speak.

The whole reason this shitty subject came about is last week I read a blog by the blogess. It was her question and answer blog. Anyway someone asked how to poop in public. It was pretty funny. But what made me fall out of my chair at work last friday is the following Memo we recieved from the building management. They KNOW!!

Crimson Services


To: All Tenants
From: Bunnie Willis, Senior Property Manager
Date: 07/24/09
Re: AtlanTech Tower – Restroom Usage

Again, we are reminding everyone that employees are to use the rest rooms on the floors where they work. We continue to have people going off their floors to use the restrooms on other floors, leaving them quite messy. We will report the offenders to their supervisors for follow-up.

If the restroom on your floor is being serviced, you may go down to use the restrooms on the first floor.

Please remind your employees of this building policy. We appreciate everyone’s cooperation.

OMG!! THEY'RE ON TO US AT WORK!!!!! THEY KNOW WE POOP ON OTHER FLOORS!!!! LMAO!!! This means war! Now we've taken it upon ourselves to stealth poop other floors. Its a mission now and we will win!!

Viva la Poop!!

poking dead things with a stick

I'm not really into poetry. Never have been. Maybe if I considered music and the lyrics poetry I could be ok with that part.

I definately dig long walks on the beach. If I could live ON the beach my life just might be complete. Maybe I wouldnt bitch so much ya know???

And poking dead things with a stick....well thats just whatcha do! I've always done it and I thought everyone did it, but I'm finding out, not so much.

Random post I know, but I'm in that type of mood.

Meeting up with Gia tonight for beveragessssssssss!!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Old people are funny. NOT

Let me just start by saying I love my parents to death. I'd do anything for them and do so on a regular basis. I sit there while they bicker and pick at each other. I listen to my mother bitch about him and his "nasty" habits (the man apparently STILL leaves his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor every morning. EGADS!). And I listen to him bitch about her bitchin at him all the time. In essance they are co-dependant and I really dont know how one is going to live without the other when the day comes.

They've been married for 49 years this past July 1st. He was a lunatic and married her with 4 kids...under the age of 7!!! He really was nuckin futs. My younger sister and I filled in the holes of their obviously incomplete life over the next 10 years.

So every couple of weeks I get the phone call about how they havent seen me in forever and want to spend some time with me. Hello?!?! I'm over their house every Sunday with the boys (dogs) swimming and eating their melba toast and drinking their ginger ale. I guess thats not good enough.

I get "the call" yesterday afternoon about my usual above shortcomings and get suckered into going to bingo with them. O.M.G. I can think of 27 bazillion other things I'd rather do. ummm, Like be eaten by ravenous monkeys at the zoo for instance or giving myself a gravel enema. shit.

Its starts in the car. My father just had catarac surgery two weeks ago and the man STILL can NOT see. He admits to having double vision. Its ok tho...he can see cars stopping ahead of him...hell, he sees TWO sets of brake lights instead of one!! Brilliant.

He's driving 50mph in a 65mph zone on the highway where everyone is doing 75mph. I put my seatbelt on, even though I was in the back seat and just played with my IPhone. I didnt want to see my impending death. Its better that way. Then my mother starts screaming while he's trying to merge onto the off ramp at an even slower speed than a turtle walking backwards. He's halfway onto the exit ramp doing fine and she's screaming, "NO NO THERES A CAR COMING!!!" Which causes him to swerve back into traffic now doing 24mph. There was no other car, he was doing just fine. I keep my mouth shut and head down. It really, really is better that way.

We go to Indian bingo and there are a shitload of people over the age of 75 that go to this place. In fact, half of south Floridas elderly population meets every night here to kabits and bitch about the state of their bowels. I park my happy ass in a seat and wait for it to begin. Mabel sits next to me. She's got six overnight bags full of I dont know what and two seat cushions with her that she takes up half my space with. Her walker hit my recently broken/still sore ankle. I went to give her a dirty look and she froze my ass with her evil furry eyebrow stare of death. And the hair in the mole on her chin looked like it could strangle me as well. It was like she was begging me to say something so she could beat me to death with her cane. Why the fuck does she need a walker AND a cane???? I do not ask and just keep to myself (cause I know whats good for me).

The games begin and I'm playin my game, making small chat with those around me and from next to me I hear Mabel say under her breath but just loud enough to be heard , "Do you come here to chit chat or play bingo, pipe down already!" I dont think she likes me, my lip ring or the big ole tiki with a peepee tattoo on my ankle. In fact I'm convinced.

Remember the catarac surgery my dad had?? Well he cant see the numbers on the board and he's half deaf so guess what??? Every flippen number that comes out my mother has to repeat at least two times to him.

Mom: G58 Paul.
Dad: What?
Mom: It was G58
Dad: B 58???
Me: 0_o
Mom: GEE. FIVE. EIGHT. You Know There Is No B58, Think About It You Numbskull!!
Dad: Why didnt you just say that in the beginning??
Mom: O65 is next Paul.
Dad: What??
Me: omfg.

I'll treasure these memories when they are gone. Of this I'm sure.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Ashton yer hOtt

I watched The Guardian again this afternoon for the umpteenth million time. Love Love Love that movie. I must say, I thought Lauren would go rescue swimmer but she has this fear of non-fixed wing...aka: helicopters so um not so much on the rescue swimmer thingy.

Back to the Guardian. I love me some Ashton Kutcher. I know he's like 13 years younger than me and all but fuhk. Whats not to love?? He's young, got a great body and he plays fucked up jokes on his friends. I'll forgive his one shortcoming... Democrat. I dont really need his mind, just his body for an hour.

What I'd give to be in Demi's shoes for a hott minute.

Friday, July 24, 2009

The Bebe is 21

During the past week, I've reminisced about my child. My only child. Therefore I am totally biased in all my opinions and you cant tell me different. Not that you'd want to I'm thinking.

Anyway, we had a discussion towards the end of high school about where she wanted to go to school and if she was going to take an academic scholorship or athletic scholorship. Academic won out. She was still gonna play travel ball but she didnt want to be owned by a school team and she was actually burning out a bit on softball. Believe it or not, she also got offered a soccer scholorship as well. Even though she wasnt playing travel soccer, she was playing on the high school team and I guess she was known.

We discussed the Navy a couple of times while she was in high school and I pushed for her to go to college while she had the scholorships available and get her degree. Then she could possibly do the Navy afterwards and maybe get a commision. Well, after two years in college, she decided that she was tired of learning bullshit that she'd never use in the real world. She approached me at first with the idea of going thru the fire academy and then paramedic school. I gave her the honest truth....firefighters and paramedics are a dime a dozen right now. I know so many certified FF and Para's that are just sitting around not working or working in a field totally unrelated.

She then said, "Can I join the Navy now?" Without hesitation I said thats it was a great idea and lets see what you have to do. It took about a month of prep and waiting but on May 18th, 2008 she enlisted in the DEP program with the rate of XXXXXX. She left for boot camp in Great Lakes on November 5th, 2008.

She's not in "love" with the Navy per say. She has good days and bad days. Some where she thinks she made the biggest mistake of her life and calls me begging to help her get out. She has no idea how she's gonna make it for 6 years active duty away from her friends and family. The rate she's in takes a good year and a half to complete all the training and quals and the navy is big on "holding" while waiting for training modules to start. "Hurry up and Wait" is the Navy's favorite saying. She is a typical young adult in our era, she wants it NOW!! I tell her all the time, "Nothing good or worthwhile is easy and its not going to be handed to you, you've got to work for it and earn it." This is a learning experience for her and sometimes painful for me to watch. She's getting better though. She's growing up and accepting her responsiblities. She knows she'll love her job. In due time she'll be living her dream.

I truly feel like I was the luckiest parent in the world. This kid gave me so little grief growing up it was almost unreal. I kept waiting for the terrible two's, didnt happen. I kept waiting for teenage angst, didnt happen. Kept waiting for the "I hate you" stage, didnt happen. I'm not sure why. I know people say your supposed to raise your kids to respect you/have fear of you/and NOT be their friend. Well, we have been friends, since day one. Its not to say we didnt fight and have arguments, but it just never escalated to the point of not having respect for each other. Respect is the key if you ask me. And it works both ways. I picked my battles with her and didnt sweat the small stuff. I feel bad for those good parents out there that do everything right and have horrible kids. Bad kids that do nothing but get in trouble. I'm so lucky.

Its a momentous day, she can actually have a BEER AND die for her country now.

Hoo-rah xxxxxxxxx, Happy Birthday!!

I love you Lauren. I am soooo proud of you.

Family Cruise '06 - Senior year HS

I love the Whites!!

Blues =)

Thanks for putting up with my little trip down memory lane. Back to bitchin on Monday!!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

T-Minus 2 days till 21

So rollin along thru the pre-teen and teen years, life was good. We moved around a bit, but all was well. At this point she went from wanting to be a pro soccer player to a pro softball player at around 12 y/o I think. Our life revolved around school, homework, practice 3 nights a week and traveling on weekends to softball tournaments. And I mean travel. Back in those days I would put 25K miles a year on my suv's. We were all over the state of Florida and the whole southeast for that matter. Tampa one weekend, Miami the next, then Atlanta the next, then Birmingham after that. It never ended. One of the nice things about Florida and the southeast is that the kids can play outdoor sports year round. And boy did she!!

At the end of her Sophomore year of high school she was invited to play for a U18 Gold Glove Olympic Development team out of Jacksonville, 5+ hours North of Ft. Lauderdale - Stacey's Stars. 0_o Now that may not seem like such a big deal, but she was a young sophomore. Because her birthday is in July, she was always almost a year younger than most of her classmates. So she was 15 and playing with 18 year olds. And this team was sponsored/run by the then USA Olympic Softball Team Catcher Stacey Nuveman.

So anyway, this team meant, she practiced on her own during the week (batting cages & practice with her old team) and we'd Travel to Jacksonville to practice on off weeks (no tournaments) with the team. Tournament weeks we'd meet them in the city we'd be playing in. Most of her teamates went thru the same thing as only about 3 were actually from Jacksonville. What a great experience!! She grew up a lot and learned so much. It made her a definate contender to play ball for a Division 1 college. Every tournament there would be coaches there from Univ of Tx, Arizona State, Univ of Tenn, Ohio State, UCLA and all the biggies.

I loved our life. She did too! =) We had so much fun and she's made tons of friends that she has kept all through the years. I truly believe softball and the sports in general kept her on the straight and narrow. She never did drugs or got into any trouble. And she had friends outside of softball that were getting high...her response she used to tell them..."she was an athlete and couldnt chance messing up her pro career". lol Hey whatever it takes. Her friends didnt bug her to do it and she didnt have to keep telling them why she wasnt gonna do it.

Her grades were pretty good. She had to work for it as schoolwork didnt come easy to her. But she graduated HS with a 3.80 in all advanced classes. She could have graduated at the end of her Junior year as she had enough credits, but she wanted to stay and play her senior year of sports and do all the things seniors do. I'm glad she did that.

With Jake when he was under 50lbs!

Softball buddies (Lauren center). I still see these girls but instead of on the softball field, its now at the local bars. lmao. Good kids.

Gold Glove, Olympic Development Team
Stacey's Stars

21 years ago at 12:43am tonight, I gave birth to my sunshine. =)

The last of it tomorrow.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Apollo 11, The Only Moonwalk that Matters

I'm really pissed I forgot to post this earlier in the week. I wish I'd been old enough at the time to understand the meaning of what was happening.

T-Minus 3 days till 21

When Lauren was 18 months old my family moved to South Florida. Just so we're clear here, she is NOT a native Floridian. (thank goodness) My baby is a Jersey Girl by birth.

I was a paramedic while she was young, until she was about 9 years old I guess. My mom watched her while I was on shift so I never had to deal with daycare or babysitters. I finally did give it up though due to some medical reasons. But while I was working in the field, the hours afforded us some great quality time together. I worked 24 on/48 off with a kelly day. So in essence I only worked 2 or 3 days a week.

We never went thru the terrible two's. She was incredibly flexible and very laid back. We did everything together. If my sister or friends and I wanted to do something, we took her with us. She went to concerts, movies, parties, everywhere.

I'm not saying I was careless and strapped her to the bar next to me, but we got innovative. On Friday nights, a great Irish bar in downtown Ft. Lauderdale had "family" night. But then again, aren't all bars in Ireland "family" bars anyway?? They were a bar with a restaurant. We'd go in for dinner and then the Irish band would come on and sing these great Irish songs. After awhile they saw Lauren singing along to the songs and before we knew it she was a guest singer on stage for certain songs. She was around 5 at the time and it was so cute! Dont worry, I had her home in bed by 10pm.

Now the perfect child wasnt always perfect. She had a few flaws lol. I dont know if its a flaw, but I had a kid who didnt know how to lose. She was and still is, the most competative kid I've ever met. She hates to lose. I decided to put her in team sports to "teach" her how to lose. She played soccer and softball for most of her childhood. Progressed from town leagues to travel leagues. Good times for sure. I'm not sure she learned how to lose, but I'm sure it kept her from getting in trouble when she got older. She had NO time to get in trouble. lol. I also found something else out by putting her in sports...she was a ringer!! No matter what sport she played, she rocked it and was typically one of the better players. She is just a very athletic kid I guess.

1995 - Her very first soccer team...The Rugrats!!

After a day in the ocean. (not our dog!)

See!...she was meant to go in the Navy!

more, more, more 2morrow

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

If I live to 86, I'm halfway done

A real nice girl, Tiffany, started working for my company about 6 months ago. She sits right next to me and I've heard all about her plannin her upcomming wedding and all the trials and tribulations that go with it. She handles it all very well really. Now I knew Tiffany was young or at least "looked" young, but she was pretty mature. I thought somewhere around 28 maybe 30. She just moved down here from Buffalo, NY to live with her fiance of 5 years. She used to be a Buffalo Bills Cheerleader, but she's got a SUNY degree and is by no means dumb or ditzy as you might think a cheerleader would be.

Today at work I was watching a video on Youtube of an old song I LOVED in the 80's. The Eurogliders - Heaven. She leans over to my desk and she's like, "oh, who's that?" I said oh its so and so, from 1984, dont you know them?? I then proceeded to fall out of my chair as she announced she probably wouldnt know them cause she wasnt born until 1986. OMFG. I am getting old.

T-Minus 4 days till 21

So I'm getting used to this baby who came into the world looking like a drowned squirrel. It wasn't pretty. Then she fattened up and turned into a beautiful baby.

The funny thing is I didnt want to know what my baby was going to be. So I didnt let them tell me when they did the sonogram. And besides, my mother (7 kids) aka: Dr. Spock told me I was having a boy. I was carrying all in the front, you couldnt even tell I was pregnant if you looked at me from behind. I gained all of 25lbs. I actually lost 2lbs the last week. And I couldnt eat enough. I was always starving so that kinda confuzzled me.

So when my baby boy was born, weren't we all surprised that he was a she!! I didnt even have a girls name picked out. uh oh. So she remained un-named for 3 days. And she wore a lot of blue clothes for most of the first 3 months. lol

I ended up naming her Lauren Jessica. I had read a tragic story in the newspaper about a week before she was born about a new mother (named Lauren) who was killed in a car accident on her way home from the hospital with her new baby. I guess I just remembered the name and kinda liked it. I had only known one Lauren growing up that I went to school with so it really wasnt that popular (at the time). And Jessica is after my mother.

She wore dresses and had curls for miles. She became my world. Great baby that hardly cried, woke up happy and loved loved loved to sleep. My mother says I didnt know what having a "real" baby was like. I had it too easy. I think it had to do with the fact that my mom made me very relaxed and told me not to stress about her. Mom said she'd be fine and live through most anything I did wrong. It obviously worked.

Elmo had insomnia...

Thanksgiving 1992

My Little Red Riding Hood

Theres more, tomorrow.

Monday, July 20, 2009

T-Minus 5 days til 21

I'm gonna spend the week telling you about my kid. Why?? Because she's hitting a milestone birthday this Friday and as a parent in todays world who didnt do it "by the book" she came out of it pretty allright. In fact damn good.

I was young, living a great carefree life. 21 years old, commuting to work in NYC from the Jersey Shore as a receptionist in a Wall Street Trading company and bringing home the big bucks (ha!) or so I thought. Brand new car, party every night. Great clothes. My pick of guys (well almost). Life was gooooood! It was the late 80's baby!!!

I was a fairly young mom just 22 when she was born. I really hadnt "grown" up myself yet. My grand party life as I new it came to a Screeeeeeeeeeeeeching halt!! Single, living at home with mom & dad, no more job in the city. Half a bachelors degree with no plans to finish it. And the father wanted nothing to do with either one of us (more about him later...Karma is a bitch). What a drastic change in my life.

I wouldn't change it for the world.

More tomorrow.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Beefcake and Beaker

So Beaker and I went to the beach bright and early this morning. Glorious day. Beautiful sun shining, tide was low so you could walk out for 100 yards in 2ft of water. Perfection in my book really.

Beaker beaches it.

And much to my amazement........BEEFCAKE ALERTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm sitting there enjoying my Figi water and rice puffs and a god walks by. I've seen this guy down there before. He is a Hott Mess. His name is Santiago and O.M.G. My sister bumped into him at the grocery store one day and thats how we know his name. I call him Aussie Bum boy cause he wears that brand bathing suit. And I'm not much into banana hangers, but my goodness, he wears it well!!

I give you Aussie Bum boy!


I got a picture of his butt, but I cant get it to download. pffft.
I was totally stalking with my IPhone. And I'd do it again. =D

shitty fucked up luck lately

ok, Imma make this short. I got my cast off last friday. I played softball blissfully monday night. I go to work wednesday morning, pulling in ontime, 10 minutes to 8:00am. As I'm getting on elevator to go upstairs my stomach starts to hurt. hmmmm. I dont want to get personal, but I thought I had to go to the bathroom. By the time I get upstairs, I'm realizing, something is seriously wrong. Definately not right. My stomach fucking hurts. BAD. What to do, what to do. Its getting worse. Almost cant stand up straight. One of my bosses gets out of the elevator and takes one look at my face and said, "Do you need to go to the hospital?" We work in a building right in front of a hospital. I said, "ummm, omg, my stomach, omg, oh shit, YES!!!" Him, "Do you want me to call an ambulance?" Me, "NO!! Lets go." Oh shit, its bad.

I half crawled, walked over to the ER. I'm in agony, and they want to triage me. 0_o If I had a gun at that point I would have used it. On myself. Never have I felt pain like this. Not even childbirth hurt this much. If it did, that pain came and went and the end was in sight. THIS SHIT JUST KEPT RIPPING MY STOMACH APART AND IT WOULDNT STOP. I was delerious pretty soon. Begging. Swearing. Praying to a god I dont believe in. Pain is rightous. It'll make you say anything to make it go away. I'd have made a deal with the devil I dont believe in either.

I'm too tired to put all the details down. Maybe another time, but lets just say, 10mg morphine, CT w/contrast, IV antibotics, two days inpatient and they come up with eschemic (sp?) colon (across the top, down the right). I dont know. It stopped hurting so I busted out last night. No worries, I got them to sign me out. Not without them wagging fingers at me saying I needed to stay another 2 days. I could die. oh my. No, my dx will let you keep me 4 days whether I need it or not so you can milk your DRG. pfft. Just give me the script for Levaquin and I'll follow up in two weeks.

WTF???? I'm over this shit.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Ahhhhhh, Softball

I'm so psyched! Softball tonight and its a doubleheaderrrrrrrrrrrrr! I've missed it so bad this past month and a half. The last season ended about 2 weeks before I broke my ankle on June 1st. I have a spiffy new brace to wear so I dont break the ankle (again). I'm not sure how well I'm gonna do since I haven't played in over a month. We'll see. I get a few beers in me and shit, I can play like Stacey Neuvman. =) (at least in my own mind).

And I got this pretty new bat to try out!! 34"/24oz

UPDATE: It felt sooooooo good to play. Its totally what I needed. Got my mojo back!! I cranked the ball tonight! love, love, love my new bat. I played first and was good to go. Ankle wasnt too bad. Felt a little tweeked by the end of the second game, but it looks good. Not swollen or anything. The new brace I got is amazing. I look like the bionic woman between the Unloader Knee brace and ankle brace but thats cool! First game was against a new team and I burned them twice with shots up the middle before they smartened up. =) Suckas!!!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Beaker Chronicles 1

If you recall, Beaker is the hapless assistant of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew of the muppets.
Well, he's now chillin with me. Everyday, all the time. Follow the journey. Or dont. lol

Beaker at work with me yesterday....matching meeting.

And he insisted on a cig break with us.

Stay tuned. He'll be back and you never know where.



Friday, July 10, 2009

Cast Off! Woot!!

I got my cast off todayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! Yippppppyyyyyyy!!!

Went and saw Dr. GeorgousIWouldntSayNo and he said its healing nicely. =D I get to just wear an ankle brace for a while. Way better than a cast for sure!! My knee, now thats another story. Gotta go get one of them MRI's. Again. My knee has been so x-ray'd, MRI'd, CT'd it should be glowing by now. But he needs it for Blah. ACL replacement is next. The only good thing is that I wont have to wear this monster bionic knee brace anymore when I play softball once he's done fixing it.

So the cast comes off and the smell...well its not so bad. But the fur!!! 0_0 Its pretty bad. A month without shaving has me looking like one of them au-natural european women. Yuck.

And I thought this was kinda funny. I have a tattoo on my ankle/foot. Its actually three seperate tattos that have all been tied together over the years. It started with a hibiscus on my foot about 10 years ago. Then I got this fabulous hibiscus on my ankle when I was in Venice Beach, Cali about 5 years ago. Then about 2 years ago I got my favorite tattoo....he's a tiki. He's awesome. And he's a true replica of a tiki I saw a pic of a long time ago. And well, ummm, I guess I should just spit it out....He's a tiki with a peepee. Yup, a penis. I've known my tatto artist for years. She's a friend of my sisters and she kicks ass! I gave her free reign when she drew him and he came out almost perfect. EXCEPT one thing. Remember the peepee?? She drew him uncircumsised. What?!?!? Oh hell no! Yuck. My tiki must be circumsised. She fixed it for me with the swipe of her pen, then he was perfect.

Well my Tiki (who I named Chaos) is usually smooth and perfect. Cause I shave!!! Its South Flo-rida y'all...shorts everyday ya know! Anyway, the cast came off today and my beautiful boy was hairy!!! ewww. He had a hairy chest AND even worse, he needed to manscape really badly. Needless to say I took care of it for him. =D

World, meet Chaos.
This pic really shows the detail...he really does look like wood. hahaha wood. Get it?? (click on pic to enlarge to see detail)

This pic is how he looks after he was completed with the wave.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Ninja 500R

I want a bike. Specifically this georgeous piece of machinery.

I've ridden many a motorcycle through the years. Friends, neighbors, any one I can get my hands on and its the crotch rockets I love most. The Kawasaki 2009 500R Ninja is built for beginners, the best to learn on and most of all fun to ride. Being its only a 500cc I'm not so sure it should be called "crotch rocket" though lol. I want black and I want it NOW. I'll wear a helmet even though we dont have to here in Flo-rida. Yeah, I know I'll get the comments about donorcycle, vegetable this and that. But quite honestly, as a medic, I ran calls and unstrapped a lot more dead people in cars than scraping up dead bike riders. Way more.
My dads always said I could get a bike "over his dead body". Well, I'm 43 years old dad. This is not negotiable anymore.

I need a goal. This is it. And not ONE word from you Jack.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Give me a break.

Rant on so prepare.

Give me a break. MJ was an amazing artist, I liked his music too. But aside from that he was just a man. A man with a lot of problems. He was an accused child molester people. I guess because he brought his way out of it, it makes it not so. I think not. He was NOT a Hero. 7 American Servicemen have died in the last two days. Does anyone give a shit about that? Reality Check. Our media is a fucking joke.

Rant over.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Remi - Evil Deeds

So I decided I needed a laugh this morning and I dont feel like working at work, so I'll make myself laugh. Cause if I dont laugh at this I'd cry. =)

Most labs are chewers. Jake on the other hand was in the .099% that didnt chew anything. I guess I was spoiled. Remi is THE chewer from doggy hell.

This is what he accomplished in two months last fall when I lived at the old apartment. He did a month long stint back in the pokey (crate) for doing this and it cured him for the most part. He still loses his mind every once in awhile, but its no where near as bad as it used to be.

Oh, and he ate a brand new pair of polarized Ray Bans too, but I cant find the pic of them.

This is the convict. Good thing he's cute or he might not be alive after what he did.

Exhibit A - The blinds...Before I moved I changed out approx 15 blinds.

Exhibit B - My (at the time) brand new Ikea Chair. No, really, it was maybe 2 weeks old when he did this...

Exhibit C - My $300 hand made Mexican Inlayed Tile Table...BEFORE

Exhibit C (a) - AFTER *Its really much worse than this at this point. And all 4 corners are all chewed even. Kinda looks like it was planned that way now. I'm getting glass tables very soon. Yeah, go ahead and chew on some glass. I dare ya.

Exhibit D - The Coup De Grace..... My Effing Laptop!!!!! He had a couple of hours of access when he did this. You know he started and thought to himself, "she is going to f**k my world up for this, I'd better stop". He's lucky he didnt mess the screen up. BTW...I didnt f**k his world up as much as I should have.

I love my dog, I love my dog, I love my dog, I love my dog, I love my dog, dont kill him, I love my dog, I love my dog, I love my dog, I love my dog.

Sunday, July 5, 2009


Is this all there is? If so, I'm disappointed. Or at least disappointed in this part.

I'm at some sort of wierd midpoint in my life. I'm unsure of what I need to do, yet know I do have to do something. I have no dreams, no expectations. I'm bored shitless. And although I say I despise my job, thats probably not true. I'm bored with my job is more like it. I'm tired of my own apathy.

I want a simple life. I dont need to make tons of money. Just pay the bills, and buy dog toys. I have all this, yet something is not right.

Do I move away? Get a new job? Keeping plugging along and hope for change?

Friday, July 3, 2009

Days Gone By

These were taken last year - 4th of July weekend. I cant believe a whole years gone by already. I cant believe she's been in the Navy for 8 months on Sunday. I cant believe she's gonna be 21 in 3 weeks. Where does the time go?

And you know I gotta mess with shit.

Please also note how flat it was that day. =/

I Miss Your Smiling Face My Baby Bug!!!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

A little piece of history

Happy 4th Of July!!! My holiday weekend starts at High Noon Baby!! I'll be on the beach (cast and all) reading my book by 1pm. Hooyah!

Lets not forget why we celebrate this day. And a friend of mine posted this elsewhere, thought it was kind of interesting.

Have you ever wondered what happened to the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence?

Five signers were captured by the British as traitors, and tortured before they died.
Twelve had their homes ransacked and burned.
Two lost their sons serving in the Revolutionary Army; another had two sons captured.
Nine of the 56 fought and died from wounds or hardships of the Revolutionary War.
They signed and they pledged their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor.

What kind of men were they?
Twenty-four were lawyers and jurists.
Eleven were merchants, nine were farmers and large plantation owners; men of means, well educated, but they signed the Declaration of Independence knowing full well that the penalty would be death if they were captured.
Carter Braxton of Virginia, a wealthy planter and trader, saw his ships swept from the seas by the British Navy. He sold his home and properties to pay his debts, and died in rags.
Thomas McKeam was so hounded by the British that he was forced to move his family almost constantly.
He served in the Congress without pay, and his family was kept in hiding. His possessions were taken from him, and poverty was his reward.
Vandals or soldiers looted the properties of Dillery, Hall, Clymer, Walton, Gwinnett, Heyward, Ruttledge, and Middleton.

At the battle of Yorktown, Thomas Nelson, Jr., noted that the British General Cornwallis had taken over the Nelson home for his headquarters. He quietly urged General George Washington to open fire. The home was destroyed, and Nelson died bankrupt.
Francis Lewis had his home and properties destroyed.
The enemy jailed his wife, and she died within a few months.
John Hart was driven from his wife's bedside as she was dying.
Their 13 children fled for their lives. His fields and his gristmill were laid to waste. For more than a year he lived in forests and caves, returning home to find his wife dead and his children vanished.
So, take a few minutes while enjoying your 4th of July holiday and silently thank these patriots. It's not much to ask for the price they paid.

Remember: freedom is never free!
It's time we get the word out that patriotism is NOT a sin, and the Fourth of July means more than beer, picnics, and baseball games.

Ok, its me again....Here is some of my family tree history...

I'm sure you all know the song America The Beautiful, Here is a little history:

(lyrics by Katherine Lee Bates;
music composed by Samuel A. Ward)

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!

America! America!
God shed His grace on thee,
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!
O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassion'd stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness.

America! America!
God mend thine ev'ry flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law.

O beautiful for heroes prov'd
In liberating strife,
Who more than self their country loved,
And mercy more than life.

The words are by Katharine Lee Bates, an English professor at Wellesley College as a poem.

Several existing pieces of music were adapted to the poem. The Hymn tune composed in 1882 by Samuel A. Ward, was generally considered the best music as early as 1910 and is still the popular tune today.
Its interesting to note that Katharine Lee Bates, never met the composer, Samuel A. Ward, and except for one $5 fee, neither received any money for it.

Samuel A. Ward is my paternal Great-Great Grandfather.
A little more history....his Great-Great grandfather(I'm not real sure about how many Greats) was Samuel Ward, (May 25, 1725 – March 26, 1776) Govenor of Rhode Island and a delagate to the Continental Congress who died of small pox three months before he would have signed the Declaration of Independance.(!)

I think my family history is so cool. Theres more cool stuff, like Julia Ward Howe (I'm still trying to figure out who she is to me...but she's related somehow) wrote "The Battle Hymn of the Republic".

Have a great 4th of July everyone!