Wednesday, August 5, 2009

How to punch a shark.

Its that time of year again. Yup, you guessed it! Shark week on Discovery Channel!!!

Every year we gather our brood up to sit in front of the telly every night to watch the same exact shit we watched last year about sharks. Its fast becoming a national ritual. Not quite as big as the Superbowl, but close! Why do we do this?? My theory is this...people like to see the scary stuff. The stuff of nightmares. Its like the rubberneckers that drive by the car accident. They all want to see the "body". In this case, they want to see "stuff" get eaten. Be it people or other animals they dig it.

I saw Jaws in the movie theater when I was 12 and I can tell you I didnt go in the water for a year after that. Crazy ass shark that "knows" what Brody's thinking. Eats not because its hungry but because it wants to terrorize a small cudley Long Island town. That movie is just as popular now as it was then. Of course I showed it to my kid when she was little. =) Gotta pass on that terror of the deep legacy.
"Your gonna need a bigger boat."

So I ask again, why do we do this?? Because we learn helpful tidbits like this.

Would I ever punch a shark in the nose?? Umm, no. My ass would be walking on water to get back to the beach. I'm not stupid y'all.

I have a healthy fear of the ocean because I know what it can do to people. Big waves, rip tides, stingrays, jellyfish and yes big fish that have rows and rows of razor sharp teeth are in there. Granted, since I moved to south florida, I'm not nearly as scared. I can SEE whats coming because the water is clear. Where I grew up on the Jersey shore, you couldnt see 1 foot below the surface. Oh hell no. I wouldnt swim up north now if you PAID ME 1 MILLION DOLLARS. NFW. Oh and swimming at night - haha NOT.

So sit back, eat your popcorn and enjoy Shark Week.

p.s. Thats Jakes "Jaws" impression in the header pic.


Michael Morse said...

I can't even relax in a swimming pool because of that movie. Still watch it every time it comes on!

Stay safe on that porch of yours, some of those sharks have legs, I swear!

Oh, and Kid Rock rocks!

peedee said...

Your not alone Michael. Still have a hard time swimming in the pool at night.