Thursday, September 3, 2009

My Dog Is A Brat

I've been home for 6 days now, 10 more to go. Remi is gonna die soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah he's got "problems" and he's a puppy you say. pffft. He has an occasional seizure that doesnt affect him in any way, shape or form before or after them. And his puppy ass is going to be an adult dog in two weeks when he turns two.

He does not listen to a Word. I. Say. I'm crippled at this point and my ass is chasing him around the back yard in a big bulky knee brace to come inside. (For those not in the know, I just had ACL surgery last week) grrrrrrrrrrr. I have to bribe him with cookies and even that doesnt work all the time. Sometimes he just stands there across the yard lookin at me. "Remi Come!" Nada. "Remi Come Here Now!!" Doesnt move a muscle. "Wanna Cookie?!" His ears may twitch but its hard to say. I give up. I go let Jake in (whos standing obediantly by the door the whole time) and close the door like I've gone in but he cant see me standing outside. I wait a minute to see if he'll come investigate. Does he move?? Nope.

I go back out to the yard. "Remi, c'mon, lets go inside. Its starting to rain. My knee hurts." Nada. I start to gimp towards him and one of two things happens. He either waits till I'm a foot away and takes off like a rabbit, ass underneath him sprinting in circles around me OR as I approach he sits, then lays down. As I reach for him he rolls over and presents his stomach and four paws. I try to pull him up and he's now 65-70lbs of skin and bones flopping allover. I cant bend over right because of the knee brace so I cant get a good grip. Not that you can get a grip on a floppy dog on a good day. I've just had a brandy new ligament inserted into my knee less than a week ago and all I can imagine as I'm lifting this bag of bones up is the little screws pulling loose and my brandy new ligament flopping around inside my knee.

Once I've flipped him over and gotten him on all fours he knows I'm pissed. He looks at me and trots to the door. Little fuhker.

I've lost all control.

3 comments:

Michael Morse said...

Dogs that wear shades can do whatever they want!

peedee said...

lol Michael, I guess your right in this case.

Old NFO said...

Just think about all the 'exercise' you're getting for the knee! :-)