Thursday, June 4, 2009

Bite me Apple

The Kid Bleepin Broke Another Phone! GAH! This time it was a $599.00 16 gig IPhone. Cracked the screen. When asked how this could be, I get......
"No mom, I didnt drop it. No mom, I didnt throw it. No mom, I didnt sit on it. No mom, I didnt get a ride in Blue Angel #3 and the G-forces broke it. NO MOM, I DIDNT DO ANYTHING TO IT!! I JUST LOOKED AT IT AND THE SCREEN WAS CRACKED. WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO ABOUT THIS MOM??? I have to have a phone now cause if I dont I cant call YOU!"

WTF?? I made her buy this phone because shes all rich and shit now that she actually has a job with the Navy. I thought (stupid me) that she could actually keep a phone for more than 6 months without breaking it because she spent her precious money on it! Well guess what?? She's had this phone since January 2. Yup, 6 months 2 days!!! Proved me wrong she did. So she's broke right now until payday on the 15th. Been out partay-ing a little cause thats what you do in the Navy. Duh, ever wonder where the phrase Drunken Sailor came from??

I cant even remember how many phones I've brought this kid. I walked around with a cell phone the size of your portable house phone for years so she could have the best ones. The newest ones. The flip phone, the slide phone, camera phones, video phones, blah, blah blah. The ways in which they broke are just unbelievable. I believe at last count,

(3) ended up in the toilet.
(1) was lost while skateboarding when she hit a crack in the curb and ended up flying into the grass. She can hang onto the phone and chat while riding, but apparently cant hold onto the phone while flying through the air.(never found it, the ants must've taken it)
(1) dropped in the dogs water bowl.
(1) was in her pocket when she wiped out on her bike into a puddle (along with her Ipod).
(2) were left in bathrooms at movie theatres.
(1) was lost to the black hole of deep outer space on Space Mountain in Disney. (I begged them to just let me look around after the ride closed for the night and the lights were on. They weren't going for that one.)

THATS just some of the ways. There are more stories that will make your ears bleed.

Needless to say, IPhones are not insurable. Apples got a fuckin racket going. So because I cant bare to not speak with the little angel, I will fork over $399.00 for an 8 gig IPhone. She was like, "But Ma, I had the 16 gig" and I said "Yes my little spawn of satan, you HAD a 16 gig, you now have an 8 gig unless you want nothing." Screw the 16 gig. She cant keep it long enough to fill up all that space anyway.

It seems the money pit has not finished her reign and strikes from afar... My father just gets a silly grin when this shit happens. I wonder why. I WAS an angel. I swear!!


Gia's Spot said...

Oh are you in for it! My "little"ones (two) are on the brink of thirty and I must say that at least ONCE A Week I get the sob story, "whoa is me I am broke just think of your grandkids missing out on X shit" story! If my mom were here she could vouch for the fact that after the age of 12 we were just about on our own as we were required to find sometype of work. SO how the F did my kids get the American Entitlement gene? How did I get the guilt that allows them to use that on me?? I have gone so far as to NOT answer the phone when I know one of them is calling to rob my treasure chest! Holy shit, they can be such great daughters until they revert to teenage angst to get what they want out of me!! Maybe if I moved farther away?? Oh and then it pisses me off even more when the next day I get the call where she went shoping and found" The cutest outfit for myself, cause you know I NEVER buy anything for myself".. OF COURSE SHE DOESN'T. SHE DOESNT NEED TO CAUSE I JUST DID!!!!
Oh I need an adult beverage!! Whew,, I feel better now!

peedee said...

"the American Entitlement" gene. THATS a good one. She's got it and I dont need a DNA test to tell me so. And your telling me this is gonna go on forever. nice. I def need an adult beverage. =/