Wordless Wednesday

Walk Nekkid in America Day

WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY-

Don't forget to mark your calendars. As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked; and if he does, he must commit suicide. So next Saturday at 1 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers. Since Islam does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism. The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

God bless America!

A lifetime too short

Not that I didn't know this already but I really, really need to live on the beach. I am happiest when I'm there.

Had a great time this weekend camping at Beverly Beach, Florida. Its about 20 miles north of Daytona on the East coast of Florida. And like the title of the post says, it was way too short. No complaints though, I'll take what I can get.

Pictures!! click 'em to see full size.

My home for the weekend.


I dug the clouds. =)


Big ass pelicans (I think). They were the coolest!!
The 2nd from left sees dinner...

He circles and prepares to dive...

Crazyness!!

Dinner is served!


Best funny surprise picture of the weekend while reviewing all the pics I took...


Dolphins, lots of dolphins around all weekend.



I found the house I want too. I'm in love and I must have it. Now I just need to find a man that can afford to keep me in the style I want to be accustomed to. I think I have a better chance of winning the Powerball lottery at 50 flippen bagillion to one odds.

I want to drink my coffee out on that balcony every morning....

And watch this.....

I took a ton of sunrise pics. Just a few of my favorites. I have 25 favorites, but I'll spare you all.



My friends dog Sasha got up to watch the sunrise with me.


Maggie & Sasha. =)


So thats it. I have tomorrow off too so spending it with my sister, Ginger. She wants to go to the beach. Doh!! lol. I'm totally there! ;)
Thanks for lookin in. I've missed you all!! =)

Its On

The trip is on. It wasnt for sure until today. Weeeeeeeeeeee!! And I recieved a new toy in the mail today....A Flip Video Camera!! I Love new Toys!

I have 95% of my packing done. I also put up the tent today since its a new one and I "just wanted to be sure" I had no problems. It was a cinch. Just have to pack the cooler when I get home from work tomorrow and I'm off.





5-Day Forecast for ZIP Code 32136 AKA: Beverly Beach!
Thursday
Partly Cloudy
88° F | 65° F

Friday
Clear
88° F | 65° F

Saturday
Clear
88° F | 67° F

Sunday
Partly Cloudy
83° F | 65° F

Monday
Partly Cloudy
83° F | 67° F

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Ima be soooooo tan!

Mindless Self Indulgence

Crazyness. My life has been absolute crazyness for the last week. I cant catch up. Work is beyond busy, in fact I shouldn't be doing this....but....I'm mentally whooped right now. I cant think enough to produce anything else viable today.

Getting ready to go away (hopefully) this weekend. It might get cancelled due to problems with the van so unknown until tomorrow night. WTF?? I cant pack if I may not be going!!! Its just not in my makeup. So when I find out tomorrow night that we ARE going, holy shit do I have a lot to get ready. We're leaving Thursday night and I have to work all that day. I'll make it happen. I'm not worrying about it anymore.

Yup. This was a pure bitchfest. So be it.

This song is how I feel. A little crazy. It has nothing to do with the lyrics, just the music. The lyrics are stupid-funny and its juvenile. Like 15 year old boy juvenile. Maybe I am a 44 year old woman trapped in a 15 year old boys mind. HUH??

Mindless Self Indulgence - Get It On


I'm not so sure I'll blog much before I leave and once I get there. I really need to not think about anything for 4 days.

Dont leave me forever!!! I'll be back I promise!

Farkin Idiots

Our current administration makes me sick.

By ANNE GEARAN, AP National Security Writer
WASHINGTON – The United States has 5,113 nuclear warheads in its stockpile and "several thousand" more retired warheads awaiting the junkpile, the Pentagon said Monday in an unprecedented accounting of a secretive arsenal born in the Cold War and now shrinking rapidly.

The Obama administration disclosed the size of its atomic stockpile going back to 1962 as part of a campaign to get other nuclear nations to be more forthcoming, and to improve its bargaining position against the prospect of a nuclear Iran.

"We think it is in our national security interest to be as transparent as we can be about the nuclear program of the United States," Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton told reporters at the United Nations, where she addressed a conference on containing the spread of atomic weapons.

The U.S. has previously regarded such details as top secret.

The figure includes both "strategic," or long-range weapons, and those intended for use at shorter range.

The Pentagon said the stockpile of 5,113 as of September 2009 represents a 75 percent reduction since 1989.

Granted the story goes on to say its "no big secret". It was still a guess!!! Once we reveal our secrets, we can never go back.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Read the whole mess here.

Saturday Morning Groove

While be-boppin around getting ready to hit the beach this morning I HAD to download this bad boy to my iPod. I heard this mix at the club last night. Effin Hot!

Kings of Leon - Use Somebody


I posted this video on my facebook last night and Linnnnnn from The Chronicle of Linnnn commented and said, "I'd love to see this tune underscore a commercial for pet adoption."
Hell yeah, great idea!!!

We could all "Use Somebody" couldnt we??

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody

Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Countless lovers under cover of the street
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice

Someone like me, someone like me
Someone like me, somebody

I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now, I'm ready now
I'm ready now

Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody
Someone like you, somebody

I've been roaming around, I was looking down at all I see.

If you need me, I'll be on the beach with Beaker.

You cant make this shit up.

Talk about poor planning on the part of the city managers in Troy, Michigan.

My sister Ginger is up there on the outskirts of Detroit on business this weekend and she snapped this picture earlier tonight....


Yes thats Big Beaver Road....but let me make it a little bigger so you can see the Exit number...


Umm yeah. Exit 69. Really???

This Is A Hero

I know the word Hero is thrown around a lot these days but Lt. Zilberman is the eppitomy of the word. I thank you for your service and the ultimate sacrifice you paid to keep my family and country safe. I can only hope your family will eventually find peace.

RIP Lt. Zilberman

Story from Military.com today:

Navy Pilot's Last Act: Saving 3 Crew Mates
April 23, 2010  The Columbus Dispatch, Ohio
The plane had blown an engine over the northern Arabian Sea, and the lead pilot, Lt. Miroslav "Steven" Zilberman, had to make lightning-quick decisions.

The E-2C Hawkeye, returning from a mission in Afghanistan, was a few miles out from the Dwight D. Eisenhower aircraft carrier. Zilberman, 31, was a veteran U.S. Navy pilot who had flown many times in the Middle East with the Hawkeye, a turbo-prop aircraft loaded with radar equipment.

The starboard propeller shut down, causing the plane to become unstable and plunge. Zilberman ordered his three crew mates, including the co-pilot, to bail. He manually held the plane as steady as possible so they could jump.

"He held the plane level for them to do so, despite nearly uncontrollable forces. His three crewmen are alive today because of his actions," Navy Rear Adm. Philip S. Davidson wrote to Zilberman's parents.

Zilberman went down with the aircraft on March 31. The 1997 graduate of Bexley High School was declared dead three days later, his body lost at sea.

The Navy soon will start recovery operations to try to pull the wreckage from the sea, said Lt. Cmdr. Philip R. Rosi II, a public-affairs command officer for the Naval Air Force Atlantic fleet in Norfolk, Va. The crash is being investigated.

Zilberman's last act earned him the Distinguished Flying Cross, one of the highest honors the U.S. Navy bestows, Rosi said.

The medal was presented to his wife, Katrina Zilberman, in Norfolk, where she lives with their children, Daniel, 4, and Sarah, 2. A copy of the medal also was given to his parents -- Boris Zilberman and his wife, Anna Sokolov -- who live in the Eastmoor area of Columbus.

"Now we have unbelievable pain," Sokolov said this week. "He was our one and only son."

Full story here.

These stories always drive home the inherant danger my own child is in everytime she boards her plane. Stay safe Bug. I love you.

Dear Employee

This is a memo a company sent to its employees recently due to economic hard times.

Dear Employee:

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for various departments, we are forced to cut down the number of personnel.

We plan to accomplish this by Offering early retirement to older employees.

This program to phase out older personnel will be called SLAP (Sever Late-Aged Personnel)

SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW. SCREW (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers).

All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management.

This appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).

Under the terms of the new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate.

If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).

As HERPES and CLAP are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received HERPES or CLAP will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.

Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our:Special High Intensity Training (SHIT) for continued eligibility in vocational employment.

We take pride in the amount of SHIT our employees receive. We have given our employees more SHIT than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough SHIT on the job, see your immediate supervisor.

Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the SHIT you can stand. And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.

Bubble Gum

I took Jake on my walk with me tonight and I was nice to him. We only walked 4 miles instead of my fairly new 5 mile jaunt. I have to get him in a little better shape before I drag him too far. Poor pup was wiped out by the time we got home. I'd take Remi too but he is a (pardon my french) fucking spaz on a leash. My fault I admit, nonetheless its true so its a no go with him. But thats not what this post is about really. Its about bubble gum.

I LOVE bubble gum. More specifically Double Bubble Gum. You know the kind you chewed as a kid when you played baseball softball?? And yes it still loses its flavor after about 5 minutes but it blows the BEST bubbles ever! Big giant sturdy bubbles. I blow really good........ bubbles. Get ur minds out of the gutter.

Back in the day I could fit 10 pieces in my mouth at once. SHUT UP!! Get ur minds out of the damn gutter please. I haven't done that in years. Putting 10 pieces in my mouth at once I mean.

Anyway, I do love my bubble gum and its the ONE thing I havent given up since I've been dieting. In fact I save 6 - 10 carbs of my precious 75max carbs a day for my chewing habit. I go thru a 1lb bag in a week and a half easily.

When I walk I chew. I have a piece when I leave the house and thats replaced 1/3 of the way with a new one and then again a new piece at the 2/3rds mark. Chewing and music.

Tonight while I was walking I was thinking as I was blowing a big ol' bubble about how I chewed to the beat of whatever song was playing. Then it hit me. I thought of a song I havent heard in YEARS.

Chewin' out the rythym on my bubble gum
The sun is out and I want some
Its not hard,not far to reach,
we can hitch a ride to rockaway beach

Up on the roof, out on the street
Down in the playground the hot concrete
Busride is too slow
They blast out the disco on the radio

Rock Rock Rockaway Beach
Rock Rock Rockaway Beach
We can hitch a ride
To Rockaway Beach

It's not hard, not far to reach
We can hitch a ride
To Rockaway Beach

Ramones - Rockaway Beach

I was 12 years old in 1977 when this album came out and I can remember playing it over and over and over again.

I'd be remiss (to only myself I guess) if I didnt post my all time favorite live performance of the Ramones.
Baby I Love You


RIP Joey
RIP Johnny
RIP DeeDee

Gabba Gabba Hey Hey!

I need more hours in a day

I have a bunch of post to write that have been floating around in my head for a week now.

A couple of bling blings to accept and give out.

I'm walking 5 miles, 5 nights a week now. I've added crunches and leg exercises for toning. I want to write an update/accountability post that I cant seem to get to. I'm at the halfway point of my weightloss. =D

I'm preparing to go away camping a week from this friday for a long weekend so I gotta get the tent and all the crap out and ready.

I have a diagnosis and update about all the Neurobehavioral testing that was done. Did I write a post about that yet?? I cant remember. Shit, still cant remember shit! lol

I'm off probation at work, but expected to keep up these insane numbers. I'm not sure how long I can keep it up. Or how long I want to keep it up. I'm miserable there.

I'm being slightly sidetracked by someone and I have only one thing on my mind lately. Cryptic I know but think about it. You'll figure it out. And I'm not complaining about this. No, definately not complaining.

I need more hours in my day or a twin.

Michael Jackson wasnt stupid

Her name is Chloe, she's a baby chimpanze AND she's my new friend.

Talk about bundle of love rolled into a furry ball. She is sooooo sweet. Ginger and I are now friends with the owner so I'm gonna get some Chloe love on a semi regular basis. That is until she gets to be 60lbs and can rip my face off. Then I'll love her from a distance.

She's 1 1/2 years old and pure sweet. She gives kisses and rocks back and forth when you hold her.

This is updated with the pics Ginger took since I first posted...

She gives kisses


Come to Auntie Paula


She loves me already. =)


She holds my finger...


Baby Chloe sleeps.

Let the Earthquake begin

Damn tan lines. Yeah, I told you they werent much but I Will Do My Part Damnit!!! And shout out to Vicky's Secrets without which there would be NO cleavage. ;)

Fuhk Iran. Thats all this is about for me. Since I was a wee one Iran is the devil. Evil people/clerics spewing idiocy and abusing women. Not much has changed since I was little and THATS a long time ago.

If you want me to post ur cleavage......send me the link or the pic!!

Leslie at Omnibus has her Earthquake worthy cleavage out too!!

Nancy over at Garden Spot is showing her lovely flowers today as well!

OK all, my childhood friend Meredith wants in! So in she gets! Now this is some cleavage!! Makin me all jealous and shit Mer!!


Ok Ladies....Sage over at Welcome to Sageville has some cleavage (?) for us. I dont know about you all but thats one hawt cowboy right there!



EDIT: HOLY SHITBALLS!!!
Major earthquake hits off Taiwan coast
Although it hit reaaaaaaaaaally early...before I had my girls out in public...

and other reports of an earthquake in Texas today.
WTF Ladies??? Really?? We can cause earthquakes??

Boobquake 2010. I'm in.

What started as a snide remark by a blogger about an idiodic Iranian clerics statement is going to cause the mother of all earthquakes if he's right.

This is a smidgeon of what he said...

“When promiscuity spreads, earthquakes increase,” he said. “There is no way other than taking refuge in religion and adapting ourselves to Islamic behavior.”

Read the whole story here.

Boobquake is going to be big. I estimate the number of cleavage photos on the web is going to explode in numbers like you've never seen come Monday night.

I dont have much boobage but every little bit helps when your trying to cause the mother of all earthquakes. So I'm told.

Will you join Boobquake 2010 and post your cleavage?? I'm gonna. =D

EDIT: Since Sage wants me to post the C's I'll post anyones cleavage that wants to send me their pics. sheeeeeesh, my blog just went from "R" rated to "XXX"!

Breakthrough

Remi had a couple of breakthrough seizures today.

The first since he started on the phenobarbitol in January. My mom came upon him at the end of what (we now) think was one earlier this afternoon. She told me when I got home from work that she went looking for him at one point because he wasnt coming when she called him. She found him on my deck by the kitchen door. She said he wasnt acting right and wouldnt get up. I thought at the time she told me he was probably just hot because it was really warm here today.

Then after dinner tonight he came wandering out from my room and when I looked at him I knew it was gonna happen. Before I could get to him, down he went into a full tonic/clonic siezure. I didnt have to give him the valium because it stopped in about 3-4 minutes.

Crap. He was doing so well.


On another note, my thoughts and prayers go out to a Miami-Dade undercover police officer that was shot this evening during a sting. It sounds pretty serious, but it just occured so not too many details about his condition yet.

The Walk

So I've been walking to the beach and back at least 4, sometimes 5 nights a week for the past month or so. According to mapquest its 4 miles and takes me about 50 minutes to complete. Last night I decided to take pics to show you my path and all the fun things I get to look at along the way.

I must say, I felt like a tourist with my iPhone out taking pics. lol

My walk takes me down a short road from my house to one of the main roads that leads to the beach. My Beach! I've been here 20 years and I still laugh a little and smile when I think I live this close to Ft. Lauderdale beach. Kinda makes me giddy. =)

I pass no less than 10 restaurants on my walk. 4 Italian, 3 Mexican, 1 Sushi (that happens to be my favorite ever!), 1 sub shop and the best Chinese food EVER - PF Changs. Every single one of them smells sooooo good. I cant wait to eat again. Although I have actually had sushi a couple of times since I've been on this diet.

(click on pics to enlarge and read my witty remarks)


Soon after I pass that, good ole' PF Changs awesome smells are wafting my way.


My watering mouth and grumbling stomach are given a break for a little bit as I approach the bridge over the intracoastal waterway. The halfway point is looming....


But alas, as soon as I get to the bottom of the bridge an Italian AND Mexican restaurant await me...


The pics in this part of the post are for Capt Schmoe and Lt. Morse...firemen/rescue stuff!
Fire Station 13. The coveted Beach station.

I actually snapped this on my way back. When I saw it I thought of you Capt and the post you did last week.


There is a story behind this sign thats on the parking lot fence of the firehouse that sits on the frontside of a county park.

Sooooooo many memories behind this sign. It was put up probably 15 years ago. Imagine Lauren, 4 or 5 years old, golden tan from a day at the beach, still sandy and standing in front of that gate with 10 racoons surrounding her. Some are reaching up for the cheese doodle she offers, others waiting patiently, a little too shy to get that close. The locals new about the racoons for years and an occasional tourist would get lucky and stumble upon the gathering. The racoons gathered at dusk everyday, trained by the constant presence of locals who would feed them everything and anything. Sometimes a cop would stop and shoo us away. Now its a crime to feed them. Ever since the sign went up I've not seen one racoon.

Now on with the journey. I'm gettin close to the prize now...


And the prize. Worth.Every.Step.

The sunset behind me was reflecting in the giant stormclouds from that afternoon. I want to stop, sit, take it in for just a little while but I dont. I'm on a mission so I snap a pic and turn back for the return trip home.

The sky was on fire last night.


Walking back over the bridge with a quick pic looking northward on the intracoastal.


The rest of the trip is uneventful and the sun was going down too fast to get any more viable pics with a phone so thats it! If anyone wants to join me, I leave an hour before sunset. Its gettin hot!! I cant imagine how fun this is going to be when its 93degrees and 100% humidity. ugh! lol

I really am lucky. I do love Fort Lauderdale and MY beach. =)

I snapped this tonight on my walk since I forgot to last night! ;)

Have a great Friday and weekend everyone!!

My New Yacht House

I would be Wally Hermes 27th mistress just to chill on this insane"ness" for a couple of weeks.



Powerball gods, please???

Traitor

Why Jason? Any other team but THEM! Lets remind them of some choice words you've had about the Jets and their fans in your long history as a Dolphin.

“Each game in NY I expect a bunch of them chanting their dumb-ass chant and all that other stuff, being the ignorant fans they are. I said it. I don’t care if they get mad at me or not. They don’t like me anyway. Quite frankly, I don’t care.”

and how could we forget:

“The Giants fans are a different type of people, just put it that way. There's a little more class on the Giants side and some Jets fans take the 'cl' out of class.”

or:

“Jets fans don't have a whole lot else going for them, and they rely on the Jets beating the Dolphins. I wouldn't want to live in NY in Nov. or Dec. either, so they come down here and fill up our stadium. They sit there and yell their [J-E-T-S] chant. That's the only word they know how to spell.”

Oh Jason, Jason, Jason. Enjoy NY in Nov. AND Dec. because instead of taking your beat up, worn out defensive end ass into retirement as a franchise player beloved by South Florida, YOU sold out for a measley $3.75 million to the archenemy, the JETS.



Personally Jason, I don't really care. BUT, you hurt my kid. She loves the Dolphins thru good and bad. You were one of her 3 all time favorite players and to go to the Jets, well, you betrayed the love of a kid that grew up watching you. No biggie, lesson learned again for her. Even the great ones sell out.

I'm switching sides

I'm tired of working already. I dont want to work anymore. I know I'm young but so what. Haven't I earned a little break? Like for the rest of my life?? I'm not into paying my bills anymore. Its so damn much responsibility and its stressing me out. I want my free cheese and free healthcare and foodstamps and free rent and free utilities. Dont I get some sort of cash stipend too?? I need some cash to live too. Not much. Whatever you give the rest of them will do as long as your paying all the other bills for me. And dont even ask me to get some of them foster kids. I dont want to deal with any kids anymore. I dont care about the money they would give me for them. I already raised one.

I want to be a Democrat. I'm tired of working and giving a shit about this country.

What stops me from doing this when so many others do it everyday?