Monday, July 12, 2010

Bionic Effin Woman

So remember a couple of weeks ago I wrote about wiping out on my rollerblades and jacking up my shoulder?? Remember I didn't want to expound on what I thought was wrong until I saw the doctor and had some diagnostics done?? Well it was here.

And I wrote this:
2. I finally busted my ass on the rollerblades. Well not my ass exactly or my knees. I was cruising along at a fair clip, ie: fast!! Didnt pay attention for a split second and hit a rock. FUCKER. My right rollerblade immediately stopped, my left rollerblade tried to save me and it was not to be. What is in motion, stays in motion.

After the left rollerblade realized I was doomed, the right decided to help and in the process pulled its hamstring from midthigh right up into the big ass butt. Once the right leg wasnt working anymore the mind kicked in because it realized our body was in the middle of A1A in late rush hour traffic. So said body launched about 3 feet into the air attempting to reach the bike lane again and landed with all the body's weight on outstretched arms and destroyed the right shoulder on impact. Thank you to all the hot dudes in the BMW's who stopped and rolled down your window asking my buddy, "Is she ok?". Dudes, a little mouth to mouth might have helped. Once again, Just Sayin.

I'm not even telling the details of the injuries until I know for sure. Just know its bad enough that I didnt play softball tonight. And anyone that knows me, KNOWS I dont miss softball unless I'm physically not able to participate.


When I fell on the rollerblades two weeks ago, I fell hard, on outstretched arms, mostly my right arm. I was protecting my knee I'm sure. Remember the knee that had ACL Replacement surgery just 11 months ago?? Yeah, that knee. Protect it at all cost is obviously subconciously in my head at all times.

I knew I fucked up my shoulder. Bad. I knew it because I couldnt push up to get up off the ground as I lay on my stomach with half my body on busy A1A and the other half in the bike lane. I know my body. I felt it (my shoulder) let "go" in retrospect. And it hurt soooo bad. I was a whiney baby for a couple of days after this fall because it hurt. I'm still whining because I cant sleep at night because it aches and wakes me up constantly. It feels like a damn toothache that.wont.stop.ever. I cant take anything but tylenol or advil. I cant tolerate pain meds. Its just not worth the nausea for me to take them. I'd get rid of the pain to be up feeling pukey. So I'd rather have the ache believe it or not.

So back to the night I fell. While I was laying on the road I thought for sure I'd dislocated my right shoulder. Once I was able to roll over and get up off the ground, with help, there was no deformity so then I knew it wasnt dislocated.

I actually went to the ER that night to get it x-ray'd because I thought for sure I'd broken my humorous. Not the case according to the x-rays. No fractures found.

So I called my trusty Orthopedic, Dr. GeorgeousIWouldntSayNo, the next morning. Yes, the same guy who did my ACL surgery last summer and fixed my broken ankle and repaired my other shoulder a few years back. I know everyone in that office so they got me in that afternoon. I'm a flippen VIP patient!! I've paid for at least ONE of his 4 boys college tuition by now! Plus he loves me and I used to work for him back in the early 2000's. We are buddies and he always asks to see the newest pics of Lauren and the puppies. I trust him to fix anything I screw up. And he hasnt failed me yet!

He came in the room, saw me and immediatly said, "Holy shit, you look great!! How much weight have you lost?!?" Well, that just made me feel awesome!! Then he asked what I did to my knee now. lol I told him about the rollerblading misshap and I thought I messed my shoulder up bad. He examined me, shook his head and said it didnt look good. He wanted an MRI to see exactly/verify what he thought was wrong. I was darn near crying in his office after he got done messing around with my shoulder. He KNOWS I dont cry. Hell I had ACL surgery and never took more than Tylenol. He knows me and he was concerned.

Then the fucking insurance company wanted to be assholes about authorization so they initially denied the MRI with just the notes from the office visit. So then the Doc has to get on the phone do a peer to peer review and they authorized it on the spot. They are so stupid. I didnt get the MRI until this past friday morning. 10 days after I saw the Doc!! After the MRI was done they gave me the disc with the images and I begged them to have the radiologist read it so I could pick up the report for my appointment with the Doc later that afternoon. My doc doesnt need the report but he likes to see what the Radiologist has to say after he's done his looking at the MRI. The report was done by the time I was leaving my office for the appt and I had them fax me a copy to bring with me.

The report said exactly what I hoped it wouldnt, but KNEW it would. I didnt just tear my rotator cuff, I have a massive tear of the rotator cuff.

By definition a Massive Tear is:

The rotator cuff is a group of tendons and muscles in the shoulder responsible for internal and external rotation, as well as stability of the joint. The rotator cuff can suffer varying degrees of injury, one of which is a massive tear.

Biomechanics
1. In a normal shoulder, the rotator cuff muscles pull downward against the force of the deltoid muscle to balance the ball (humeral head) of the upper arm in the socket.

Massive Tear
2. A massive rotator cuff tear is defined by Dr. Richard J. Hawkins, M.D., as being greater than 5 centimeters in the coronal or sagittal plane.

Identification
3. An alternate definition of what constitutes a massive rotator cuff tear comes from Dr. Bernhard Jost, who said, "One accepted definition of a massive rotator cuff tear of the shoulder is a rupture of at least two complete tendons."

Analysis
4. Jost goes on to say that, for a suspected tear, a medical professional will likely examine the three major rotator cuff tendons---supraspinatus, infraspinatus and subscapularis.

Read more: Definition of a Massive Tear of the Rotator Cuff | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/facts_5633145_definition-massive-tear-rotator-cuff.html#ixzz0tbWcKIj5


So according to the MRI, I meet BOTH of the above criteria.
1. I completely tore the Supraspinatus and the Infraspinatus tendons.
That would be the rupture of two complete tendons.
2. And lucky me, the Supraspinatus is torn almost 7.8 centimeters. I damn near ripped the whole muscle in half.
That meets the second definition.

Weeeeeeee! I don't do things half ass people. If I'm gonna destroy a body part, I DESTROY IT. pfffffffft.

So my whining wasnt in vain for the last couple of weeks. I was/am hurt. lol I'm doing my pre-op testing/clearance tomorrow and have surgery scheduled for o'fucking early next Monday morning. He's a little concerned because one of the tendons that tore has rolled up into my shoulder and 3 weeks is the max window to try and save the tendon. Monday will be 3 weeks exactly.
He's hoping to be able to stretch it back down and attach it to the bone. If not he will have to use a pig sheath or something like that. And it'll be an Open procedure vs Arthroscopic surgery. And it'll make the healing time twice as long.

I'm looking at best case scenario of six weeks of a sling with zero movement. If he's gotta go with the pig part it makes it 8 weeks in a sling and many extra weeks of PT.

Softball is a dream right now. He doesnt know and won't guarantee me the ability to throw again until he gets in there. It might be too fucked up. If he can fix it (which he will, I have faith!!) I wont be playing until next spring. He said, maybe March at the soonest. fuhk!!

So thats my story. I am a gracefull one, aren't I?? No worries people, all will be well. It has to be! =)

17 comments:

Capt. Schmoe said...

Sooner or later, you're gonna run out of parts. Have you thought about chess or maybe lawn bowling or somethin'?

Heal fast PeeDee.

peedee said...

Nah, Capt! They make replacements for most everything now! I'm thinking Robo Cop!! Thanks for the good wishes. ;)

Momma Fargo said...

Oh, jeepers. Bionic woman for sure! Well...guess you don't do it half-assed...just all the way. Hope you are feeling better after your surgery and get stronger than ever. Now on another note...do you need to borrow my body armor or would you like the big RedMan suit we use for K9 training. I think we could lone you Russ...the SWAT tank if it will help ya.

Get better soon. We might need to put training WHEELS on your rollerblades...or better yet...I'll send him your way. LOL

vixen kitten said...

Ahhh, sheesh. First off, sending you some much needed *hugs*....albeit GENTLE *hugs*

Now, text me your address. I'll be on a flight tomorrow to take the damn roller blades away from you!

Seriously, find a new hobby. Don't make me come down there and meet you under circumstances like this!

I like the chess suggestion. Or croquet.

xoxo
~vk~

Ann T. said...

Dear peedee,
I'm not seeing the chess. Maybe you should take flight simulations or something like that! I think you need speed and excitement in your hobbies, so . . . something cool but less dangerous, maybe.

I have a feeling that every move you make right now has to be considered carefully, and that's terrible. Then surgery--I am so glad you trust your doc and he likes you.

Get well soon, darling peedee,

You can see that many are rooting for you!

Muah,
Ann T.

Gia's Spot said...

Oh crap! Well now you are just gonna have to sit at Lulu's and watch for a while! Time out, penalty box for Pee Dee! Really, I hope it heals fast! Muah!!
Gia

meleah rebeccah said...

Yikes! You poor thing! My younger brother Lee once had a Massive Tear in his rotator cuff and had to undergo complete reconstructive surgery.

I sincerely hope you recover QUICKLY.

PS: That must have felt SO good when the doctor noticed how much weight you've lost!
xoxoxoxox

Anonymous said...

Hey P,
Looks like the day I come over to see you, you decide to destroy yourself. Frank's over at The Hideout with a UE injury too. Yours is better!!!! Will be thinking about you in the OR.

-SCRN

Omnibus Driver said...

You'll have to let me know where to send the post-op CARE package...

And, no, you don't do things by half measures.

Linda Medrano said...

Oh Sweetheart! I am so sorry! Do you have somebody to help you? I am so wishing I lived closer and I'd come and nurse you back to health! Poor Baby! This is awful!

the observer said...

peedee:
Well, this really sucks. I'm super glad you have a doc you like. As far as maintaining your exercise, I imagine you will be able to do walking and stuff like that after the acute recovery.

You'll have to watch your diet like a hawk! If it was me, I'd have to watch for boredom and frustration munchies...

Best wishes to you from me, the Observer, here in Kansas City.

PS: Don't forget, you can still type with one hand, to keep the bloggyhood informed!

Beryl said...

ugh...hope things improve soon! hugs on that!

On a totally unrelated topic, I am thinking of getting another lab or lab mix from a rescue. Your pics remind me of the ones we used to have...okay maybe TWO. Sounds weird, but theyhave the cutest expressions sometimes. I swear they move imaginary eyebrows at me when the cock their heads. lol

peedee said...

Ha Ha Momma, send Wheels. I'll beat him up a bit because I'm cranky and then we'll see what happens next! lol

Thanks for the hugs VK. =) I cant stop having fun just because my shit breaks all easy!! I'll be more careful once I heal. Its always that way for a little bit! ;)

And yes Annie, EVERY move is considered before I make it at this point. I imagine I'll be a flippen mess after next monday for real. muahs!

Yeah Gia...LuLu's sounds good! Meet me for a Margarita!! <3

Meleah, I wish I could talk to him. I'm trying to find people that have gone thru it to see what the "real" recovery is like.
And yes, it did feel good when he noticed. You know I have a massive crush on him!!

Hiya SCRN!!! Thanks for stopping by! Yeah, I think I got it a little worse than Frank. He's got that pitchers arm from throwing in his backyard and pretending he's in the last inning of game 7 in the World Series. He's a hoot! A strange one, but a hoot nonetheless! Thanks again for the well wishes and come back!!

LOL Leslie, bet you send GREAT care packages too! No worries, I havent said anything yet but the Sailor will be home this weekend and she'll be able to help her momma out a bit so I'll be fine!!

Linda, you'd be the bestest nurse ever!!! I'm so sure of this!! No worries, I'll be fine before the end of the summer. =)

Observer your exactly right...I can walk at least. Although I HATE walking now that I found the glory of rollerblading again. Alas, thats not to be for awhile. I actually havent really excercised in the past two weeks since it happened and I'm still losing weight!! I'm keeping my eating the same that it was pre injury so thats probably helping!
And I'll be on....I'm a really good one handed typer when needed! Thats what I'm going to have to do at work anyway for about 6 weeks!

Thanks Beryl! I'll be ok, promise! And you should totally get TWO doggies!! I love that your going to rescue them. Rescues just "know" they've been given a second chance and they appreciate it so much.

Thanks for stopping by all!! I appreciate the well wishes very much! You all brighten my day!

jessicabold said...

You're like...Super Peedee.

Someone needs to get you a shirt. Or a cape.

http://www.booshy.com

peedee said...

lol Jess. If I was super I wouldnt bust my ass, err shoulder. Maybe I do need that cape. Then I could fly instead of fall.

Hope your feelin better too girl!

Angelia Sims said...

I knew it! No way would crash and burn like a pansey!

Hang tough chickie! Praying that get you all fixed up. The time will FLY by, that's what happens when you get to be hip geezer's like us. :-)

peedee said...

lol Ange, so I'm a fly hipster huh!?! lmao! All will be well. Muahs girl!