Monday, December 14, 2009

The Boys, The Mall & Santa Claus

Wow. Im exhausted. And it was all for the pleasure of taking two incorrigiable dogs to the mall to see Santa so I could get pics of them with him for the world to see. I survived but not without a few close calls.

First of all it wasnt even "get your pets picture taken with Santa" day. I called the mall the other day to find out when they were doing it and was mortified to learn I'd missed the day. I begged and pleaded with the young lady and she tried her darndest to dissuade me but my begging was sooooo good she finally said, "Ok, bring them in on Monday evening at 7:30 when its not so busy". I was all like, "I Win!!". =)

This morning I awoke with a smile, NOT because it was Monday morning and I had to go to work, oh noooooo, it was because in T-minus 2 days my Sailors coming home AND I was taking the boys to the mall tonight for pics with Santa. Smiles all around!!

At exactly 7:10 my neighbor with his pocket sized chihuaha Gracie, me and the boys climb into his Mercedes (!) and start our 5 minute journey to the mall. I warned him of the inevitable dog hairs that he'd find for the next 15 vacuumings and the nose print smeared up back windows that were going to occur. I didnt even want to think about what the claws were gonna do to the leather apholstry. ugh. Pretty uneventful ride. Hmmm, I'm thinking maybe the boys are tired and will be good for this little adventure into the mall.

NOT. They know somethings up. I know they're thinking as we pull up to the mall..."whats THIS place?", "It doesnt look like the pinchy ladys place (vet)", "Wow, why are there so many cars?". "Lets drag her alll over when we get out of the car!" "Ok, You go that way and I'll go this way, then circle around her and we'll take her down and take off!!"

We parked in the garage right next to the entrance, right next to the escalators that we need to go up to get to Santa. Alls going as planned. They only dragged me to just inside the doors, then the blessed HIGHLY waxed floors, read: No Traction! became my friend. YES!! They still managed to twist me up a bit, but I was winning. We walked right up to the escalators and Jake was all into it until he looked up and saw the stairs were moving. Nope, not doing that. Breaks!!! Beeep, beeep, beeep. Back her up, not doing that mom. Remi tends to do whatever his brother does. Nope, if he's not doing it neither am I.

Houston, we have a problem. I've got 120+ lbs of dog that I need to get upstairs. NO elevator anywhere in sight. Nice. Ok, lets try this again. I decide to just walk/drag Jake onto the escalator and Remi will follow. After all I am the human. I am the master. I start the walk and Jake is no dummy. He's not one to be fooled by me, who is after all a stupid human. He brakes, I'm dragging, he's applying more breaks!! Almost there, alllllmoooooost...why arent we moving?? Oh, I'm being dragged backwards by Jakes first mate, Remi.
Had they shown a divided front, I would have won, but no. Together they stood and alone I failed. There had to be a different way.

My brother had come along to take some extra pics with his professional D5000gazillion camera so he firmly took Jake from me and proceeded to walk/drag him onto the escalator. Jake was nervous, not quite understanding the moving stairs but went along because he had no choice. Now I'm left with the first mate and he's looking at me like, "Nope, aint happening". I decide to try the same tactic my brother used and begin to walk/drag Remi towards those evil moving stairs. Remi gets the wide eyed deer in the headlights look and is breaking hard, pulling backwards and he just about got the collar off. This isnt working. We squared off and I decide to go with plan B. I picked his heavy ass up and carried him onto the escalator.

Wow. I told you I was tired. We havent even seen Santa yet!

Once upstairs we proceeded to Santas castle amidst the oohs and aahs of other shoppers. Children stared, adults looked worried. I forget how big these guys are and they can be intimidating. Especially when they look like they are dragging me, ever closer towards them to eat their children.

Santa was awesome! My friend and his dog had their pics done first. The boys stayed busy, smelling all the new smells and trying to get to people that strayed to close to us. Some brave people wanted to pet the "aaaaaawwwwww cute puppies". They dont understand that this just makes them more crazed.

Finally!! Its our turn! The boys were to sit on the ground, one on each side of Santa, look smartly at the camera and smile. STOP Laughing. I had a plan. I brought cookies!! Cookies will make these boys do Anything! And the cookies worked. =) I must say, Remi was much better behaved than his older, wiser brother. Jake just couldnt seem to comprehend that he needed to stay seated and not climb on Santa. Santa was so cool though. He really liked them and said they did well.

The picture up in the header area is the one that they took there. I brought it because they were nice enough to let me bring the boys on a non-designated pet night and they were very patient. My brother took the following pics which give you an idea of the squirming around that was going on.

The behind the scenes shot...thats me with the cookie...

It really was comical and a small crowd gathered to watch the show.

The goal is simple. Both dogs sitting, both dogs looking at the camera. Eyes open, tongues in. Yeah, thats simple. lol

Exiting the mall was accomplished the same way entering was; Jake being dragged down the escalators by my brother and I carried Remi's butt. They were pretty much exhausted on the ride home and actually laid down most of the way. When they got home, they each drank 2 gallons of water and passed out on my bed. Wow. Poor things, such a big adventure that wiped them out. lol

I'm wiped out as well. But I'd do it again. In a heartbeat.

Merry Christmas from Jake & Remi!


Capt. Schmoe said...

A much braver person than I, Oh Queen of the Dogs. We have little dogs, the amount of work we have expended trying to get a decent picture of them - fuggetaboutit.

The picture in your banner came out great, well worth the effort. Extra kibble for them, extra cocktail for you. You all earned it.

Linnnn said...

I've been dragged face first down a hill by my two labs in pursuit of a couple of Pekinese...I din't let go, but i sure did eat dirt for about 15 feet. i am in awe that you did so well! Adorable pictures!

rahul said...

Thanks for nice info.

I found a totally free classified, have a look.

Ann T. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ann T. said...

Dear PeeDee,
They look adorable:

"Dear Santa, may I have a dead fish to roll in please." "I'd like birds to chase." "Mama forever."

Tell, me do Jake and Remi open their own Christmas presents? I used to have a border collie that would open her own, lick all the gravy coating off the bones, and start on the next. LOL!

Glad you got the pictures!
Ann T.

Angelia said...

You are a VERY brave woman!! This is sooo great. They got to see Santa! Awww!

Great pics, it just makes me laugh and smile. Sooooo cute! I bet it was quite the show. I would have loved to have seen you via Mercedes (gasp) taking them to the mall. Hilarious. You just made my day!

mepsipax said...

Funny but you do realize they are dogs. That isn't even doggy Santa.

peedee said...

I needed a cocktail Capt!! Thanks!

Thanks Linnnn, it could have been much worse. And I've been put on my butt more than once by Jake!

Rahul, baby jesus doesnt like spammers. buzz off.

Ann, they open their presents the minute I get home from the store with them. They have this sixth sense about bags with dog toys in them. Its weird really. I cant keep them long enough to give them on Christmas day! And your dog sounds like she was pretty smart!

Angelia, it was fun! I'm glad you enjoyed the story. ;)

Listen here Mepsipax, YOU need to get the spirit of baby jesus in you. Santa loves all creatures. Even you. Maybe. muah.

The Expatresse said...

LOL! Ages ago, I lived in South Florida and I had two mutts. I took them to the mall for pictures with Santa because it was a fund-raiser for the Humane Society or something.

THEY WERE HORRIBLE! Both of them. My usually pleasant dogs were just awful. We finally got pictures, but they were, as my friend said, "Let's put on elf hats and reindog antlers and SHOW EVERYONE OUR GENITALS!" Because it was totally "Dicks on fire! Now it's out" time.

The dogs have long since gone to Dog Heaven, but I still have that photo, and it still makes me laugh.

peedee said...

lmao! "dicks on fire"! We say, "they've got their lipsticks out".

Thanks for stoppin bye ;)