Twofer Tuesday

I heard this song in a movie I watched over the weekend. Repo Man, eh it was ok. A little gross but some serious eye candy graced the screen. I'm just letting you all know that Jude Law is my husband. He just doesn't know it yet. ;)

Enjoy some super sexy music, old school style. This is some hot shit.

Birds flying high you know how I feel

Sun in the sky you know how I feel

Breeze driftin' on by you know how I feel

It's a new dawn

It's a new day

It's a new life

For me

And I'm feeling good

Nina Simone - Feelin Good

Then we watched SALT. My good god. I'm going to be forced to kick my husband Jude to the curb and marry Angelina Jolie. Jeeeeeezus effin Christmas!
Angelina Jolie is my wife, I once again just haven't told her yet.

Felix da Housecat - Sinnerman Remix ft. Nina Simone


The last couple of days have run the gamet of emotions. Although I may whine on here about those emotions via post, I wouldn't change a thing. The feelings; good, bad, hot, bored, scared all make me feel alive. Thats a good thing. ;)

umm, yeah....

I woke up this morning, draggin ass as usual. Probably more than usual because its Monday and thats just the way things are.

I get to work, look out the window and see this.

Peen Cloud

As Linnn said, the gods do have a sense of humor. And quite honestly I think my day "peaked" at 7:45am. It can't get any better than this.

So Cool

This gets cooler and cooler the longer you listen. Give it time and let it unfold. I found it at the Curious Brains blog. He finds the best stuff! You can find him on my blogroll.

Quad Time from The Joy of Box on Vimeo.

The Universe partially righted itself late today. =)

And its an oxymoron to say, "Have a "happy" Monday", isn't it?? Is there such a thing??
lol C'mon Tuesday!

Endings

Its raining again today. The fourth Sunday in a row. Only today it feels appropriate and I'm ok with laying on the couch, wrapped up in my puppies and watching stupid movies all day.

Even after 44 years the universe still finds a way to blow my mind.

Thank you for everything.
For listening, making me laugh and most of all for making me feel good and confident about myself.
That last part sir, was priceless.
You can't buy confidence, it is in us and sometimes it needs someone to help us find it and believe it.
My life is better because of our interaction, however short it was.

Until we meet again....which I have no doubt will happen, someday. I have to believe that.
xoxo Muahs.

ISYIMD

Today is brought to you by the ugly redheaded step child of Sunday Funday; Sucky Sunday.

Cryptic post, but it is what it is.

Bad & Good - Good & Bad

I'm 6 weeks post-op of my shoulder surgery (rotator cuff tear). FUCK this is taking forever! I've been a good girl too! PT 3 x's a week religiously and following all the rules. I finally got about 90% range of motion via Passive movement. The therapist does all the moving of the arm. Each day it moves a little further. Its painful as hell while he's doing the movement, but no pain, no gain. And it doesn't really hurt that bad once he stops moving it. Somedays its a little achy later in the day. When I first leave PT my arm feels like I played a game of dead-arm and lost. Remember that game?? I used to it play with my brothers. I lost then too. lol

Today I got to start resistance movement. Yippeeeeeee! Its the beginning of the end of PT kids. Its not building muscle, just getting the muscles used to moving my own arm again. I've been out of the sling for about 3 weeks. Came out of that way early after begging the doc. I couldn't stand it. He gave in. =)

So that being said, I am now moving my arm on its own. Given permission to do the movement has me cruising along at record speed.

I am sleeping better at night. I still wake up, but not nearly as much as before. I'm sleeping enough that I'm not a cranky bitch all day so thats a bonus. lol

So that brings me to excercising. I have hardly excercised since I had the surgery. I tried walking again a few weeks ago, but I just can't do it. Its so boring I'd rather watch weeds grow. I tried, I swear. I fell June 30th and have done little to no excercise since. I was really losing the weight and toning up beautifully when I was blading. It was the catalyst to the curves I rediscovered my body had. I was blowing thru 15 mile runs 4-5 nights a week. I miss rollerblading with a passion. I dream of it some nights lol.....I MISS IT SO BAD!!

The great news is that I have not gained any weight back. I weigh myself every week or so and I've gone up and down a couple of pounds since I fell but never more than 2lbs in either direction. I do eat more than when I was dieting but not nearly as much as I used to pre-diet. I definately changed my eating habits over that 4+ months and its sticking. .

So I'm going tomorrow morning to a park up in Pompano Beach with my boss who used to rollerblade with me all the time. Its right next to where the Good Year Blimp's hanger is. Its got a five mile bike loop around this park with pristine smooth path. Super smooth and no rocks. No curbs, no cross streets, no cars stopping or turning in front of you. Its easy peasy and its perfect for blading.

I can't wait any longer. I need to excercise.

I promised before and after pics awhile back. I have delayed doing this because I am not done. I lost 44lbs and have kept it off like I said. I still have probably 15-20lbs to lose. I'm not so worried about the final number because I'm more looking to lose my gut, which is not nearly as bad as it was, and to tone up and get some definition. I don't like pics of myself. I take horrible pictures. I don't mind my body (NOW) so much but ugh I just don't like the pics. You'll see.

This was around Christmas last year. I was peaking at my heaviest weight ever.
Fatty McFatty

Look at the arm in the pic above....look below. This was May 11th. Almost two months into the weight loss that I started March 15th. I had lost 27lbs at this point.
I can't wear this shirt anymore. Its too big.


This is a telling pic. I don't necessarily like it, but its shows a definate difference.

This is the weekend of Laurens birthday, July 24th. I'm on the right.


So thats it so far. More lbs to lose and I'm gonna get back on track.
Have a great weekend all! Muahs

Dancin & Singin in the Rain

We are HUGE Storm Trooper fans in this house. They just rock. And this dude really ROCKS!!


And for the record....I joined the Dark Side years ago. ;)

This Just Might Work.

Teaching Math in Detroit or LA

Schools in Detroit and Los Angeles are finally starting to teach practical math that these kids can use in real-world situations!


NAME____________________

GANG/CREW NAME______________

CRIB_________________


1. Lajames has an AK-47 with a 200-round clip. He usually misses 6 of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive- by shootin. How many mofos can Lajames ice on a drive-by before he gotta reload?

2. Leroy has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what be the street value of the rest of his shit?

3. Dwayne pimps 3 ho's. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Dwayne's $800 per day Crack habit?

4. Raul wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounce bags will he need to make to gets the 20% upside?

5. Ray-Ray gets $2000 for a stolen BMW, $1500 for stealing a Corvette, and $1000 for a 4 x 4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4's, how many more Corvettes must he steal to make the 10k for his brother's bail?

6. Pedro got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 of his hit money per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?

7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with three 8 oz. Cans of spray paint with 20% paint left over?

8. Tyrone knocked up 4 girls in the gang. There be 20 girls in his gang. What be the percentage of bitches Tyrone knocked up?

9. Lafawnda is a lookout for the gang. Lafawnda also has a Boa Constrictor that eats 5 rats per week and a cost of $5 per rat. If Lafawnda makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can she feed her snake with one week's income?

10. Marvin steals Juan's skateboard. As Marvin skates away at 15mph, Juan loads his 357 Magnum piece. If it takes Juan 20 seconds to load his piece, how far away will Marvin be when he gets whacked?


All kidding aside, this might just work. And before I get yelled at for being racist, or for posting something thats degrading, Dont Bother. I've received this in an email no less than 7 times in the past week. 4 of the 7 senders are my friends from work who live in what they refer to as "The Ghetto". They also agree, This Just Might Work.

And I dunno about you, but it made me laugh. Its funny!!!

Its flippen Thursday. TIT - Thankful it's Thursday.

And remember a couple of months ago when I was on the verge of getting fired at work?? I was on probation, blah blah blah??? Remember?? Its ok if you don't. I'm gonna tell you guys whats gone on since that. Soon. Just think, Zero to Hero. ;)

Wordless Wednesday

Twofer Tuesday

Jammin tune from an older Album called Blowback by a guy named Tricky.

Tricky - Excess *See if you can guess who the female is in the background...



That would be Alanis Morissette. =)

Tricky is an English artist with a whole lotta sound other than rap coming from him. He's got an old soul and an old school vibe. Back in the day, according to Wikipedia he set the stage for Trip Hop. Its a mix of reggea, rock, rap and soul.

Its good stuff if you ask me.

Another one of my favorites off the Blowback Album:

Tricky - Evolution Revolution Love

This song makes me wanna call my boy and have him come over. Everytime I hear it. Super sexy vibe. ;)

Give it a chance and listen to him. Its not what you think if your thinking rap. He's got style and these are the catchy songs. You'll like them I bet. ;)

Have I steered you wrong yet??

And I can't resist.
Bluesy, SeXy aSS song......mmm mmm goooooooood. Dayyyyummn.
Tricky - Puppy Boy



Happy Tuesday, damn near Wednesday!! Weeeeeeeehumpinday!!

StumbleUpon!

By the way, the previous two post, the C&H comic and the Bubbles video where "borrowed" from a great blog. The Curious Brain. Random cool stuff that I spent a couple of hours going through. So much stuff that caught my eye.

And how did I find this great blog you ask??

Welllllll, Lauren introduced me to StumbleUpon! the other day and this is one of the random places it pulled up.

StumbleUpon! is such a cool concept and great browser thingy. Go here to StumbleUpon!, register, put in your interest and bounce around the web. It really is cool. It finds shit that you never would have. Interesting stuff and stuff you can learn from too. The more "topics" you list as "interesting to you", the more places it sends you. Make sure you list photos. I've seen some of the coolest photos in the last couple of days.

Its Not The Same

Summer doesnt mean what it used to. And I don't just mean when I was younger because even when Lauren was still home and in school it still meant something.

Its sad. I miss summer vacation.

Giant Bubbles

Stunning.

Change is a coming.

Big, BIG, changes are coming, but I can't say what at this point. I will say the changes make me so sad I want to cry one minute and jump for joy in the next, then worry like crazy in the next still. What a mix of emotions that are so flipping confusing. I'll spill the beans eventually. Now is just not the right time.

Oh and the Sailor and I will be doing a Texas style Thanksgiving this year. =)

I'm flying out to the OKC and then Lauren and I will be driving down to near San Antonio to another Navy families house to spend a long weekend.

I met Mia on a Navy website when Lauren first enlisted over two years ago. Her son had just enlisted too and we struck up a friendship that has endured.

Her son is now on a destroyer (I think thats what it is) stationed in Hawaii. He went to boot camp a couple of months before Lauren, but they actually met up in Great Lakes. He had some classes up there after boot and she was stuck up there on hold for a month after boot before she left for her training in Pensacola. They went bowling and hung out a couple of times.

He is probably not going to be able to get home for the holiday. But its ok, Lauren and Mia are friends too!

I can't believe Lauren will hit her two year mark in the Navy on November 5th. Time flies when you're having fun(?)

Anyway we are both so excited. New adventures are always funnnnnn!!

Almost Wordless Wednesday

Good Morning.

It's in your "hands".

Piss Your Pants Funny.

I just spent the last hour pissing my pants laughing with Ginger reading a website. Crying real tears and my stomach hurts. I couldn't breath or read some of them till I caught my breath.

Its called DontEvenReply.com aka: Emails From an Asshole.

The writer says this about it:

This is a collection of e-mails I have sent to people who post classified ads. My goal is to mess with them, confuse them, and/or piss them off.

And he does all of the above to these people. I can't believe some of them even reply.

I'm going to post two of my favorites. And then you really should go read the rest.

Kitten Rescue
Posted at: 2010-08-12 14:37:56 | 142 comments | Add Comment

Warning: The following post contains graphic images. If you are offended by the sight of food-dye, corn syrup, and ground beef, you may not want to read this.

Original ad:
Humane "hav a heart" traps for kittens needed
There are some kittens in my neighborhood that need to find good homes. I need a trap 4 the cats to help bring them in. Please email me if you have a trap (and a heart)!

From Me to *********@********.org:

Hello,

Are you still looking for a trap for cats?

Mike

From Deb ******* to Me:

Yes I am can you help me?

From Me to Deb *******:

I most certainly can! I believe this trap is for those who want to "have a heart." I used it to catch a stray cat that kept coming into my garage. It is called the KittyHugger. All you have to do is put some cat food on the trigger, and when the cat comes to eat it, the trap gently contracts into a hugging position and comfortably hugs the cat until you come back to deal with the little guy. Please let me know if this will work.

Mike

From Deb ******* to Me:

Mike- I have never heard of a trap like that. I was referring to the "Havahart" traps...you know like the cages for animals?? Do you have any pictures of the trap? I'd like to see how it works before I get it. Thanks.

From Me to Deb *******:

Absolutely. I've attached a picture of it. Sorry if it is a little messy; I haven't cleaned the trap in a while.

Attachment:


From Deb ******* to Me:

YOU'RE SICK!

From Me to Deb *******:

Excuse me?

From Deb ******* to Me:

You killed that poor cat OMG

From Me to Deb *******:

I didn't kill the cat. I told you it was a little messy. The last cat I caught knocked over the bowl of juice I gave him so he wouldn't get thirsty. As you can see, it made quite the mess. I assure you this trap is 100% safe and humane.

From Deb ******* to Me:

IT OBVIOUSLY IS NOT SAFE. IT IS COVERED IN BLOOD

From Me to Deb *******:

You've clearly never seen a juice spill before. You have a twisted imagination if you think that is blood. I guess you don't want the trap.

Before you give up on me, I have one more trap you may be interested in. I actually think it is one of those Have a Heart traps you were talking about, though I've never heard it called that.

Please see the attachments. As you can see from the pictures, the kitty will have plenty of room to be safe and comfortable. It comes with a black tube at the end that is used to pump warm air into the cage to keep him warm while he waits to be released.

I'm sorry I didn't have time to clean the trap. It is still a little messy because the last cat I had in there spilled his bowl of juice and his cat food. It went everywhere!

Mike

Attachment:




From Deb ******* to Me:

Wow can't you read the ad you sick jerk? I DON'T WANT TO KILL THEM

How you managed to turn that trap into a bloody mess is a mystery to me but keep the hell away from me!!!

BAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

And with this one it just keeps getting better and better as it progresses....

Fake Invoice
Posted at: 2010-06-29 08:20:54

Original ad:
ATTENTION: anyone who owns an auto repair shop
i need a fake invoice printed up for a bunch of car work so i can explain to my wife where our $1200 went. if you can print out an invoice with a bunch of repair stuff that would cost around that, please contact me ASAP.

From Me to *********@********.org:

Hey, are you still looking to get a fake invoice? I run a repair shop off of 95 in Essington and could easily print something out for you.

Mike

From Dave ******** to Me:

yea dude that would be great. it needs to be for like $1200 but your a mechanic im sure you can think of something that costs that much. essington is kinda out of my way so i just need a good reason for my wife that explains why i was down there, ya hear?

From Me to Dave ********:

Alright, I can print one out in a few minutes and scan it for you. As for your wife, just tell her you were on your way to Chester to buy drugs and your car broke down, so you just had it towed to the nearest shop. Be sure to mention how great our service was.

Mike

From Dave ******** to Me:

yeah great idea genius that would go over real well. im better off coming clean about my bad luck in atlantic city, but that aint happenin neither

From Me to Dave ********:

I don't see why it wouldn't go over well. Lots of people go out of their way to Chester for drugs. I get my coke from Chester all of the time. It is cheap, and good, too.

Anyway, I've attached the invoice I wrote up for you. I forgot to ask the Make/Model/Year of your car, so I just took a guess. If I am wrong, let me know and I can change it.

Mike

Attachment:


From Dave ******** to Me:

if you guessed 98 corolla then id be impressed otherwise could you put that in, and date it for today? thanks a lot for your help dude

From Dave ******** to Me:

wait a minute what the fuck is this shit

From Dave ******** to Me:

$200 to unjam a tape deck are you for real man? that isnt even a real problem
what the fuck is a "transgasket differential" are you serious dude, this shit isnt going to fly. 50 bucks to set the dashboard clock wtf man

like seriously man are you fucking retarded? wtf is this bullshit

From Me to Dave ********:

Yes, I typically charge around $200 to unjam a tape deck. Have you ever tried to do it? It is a pain in the ass. Some people panic and try to rewind their tapes and that just makes it even worse.

I charge $50 to set the dashboard clock, but it is well worth every penny. It is the most accurate time reading you will ever have. I sync it down to the millisecond with the official NIST time, and I have it verified by a certified time expert.

You've got me there on the transgasket differential. I just make that up and charge $400 for it and people usually pay it without much argument. Especially women, which brings me to my next point.

Women tend to know nothing about cars, so your wife will probably just look at the document and get confused by all that fancy car lingo. All women need to see is the money amount, which I have made very clear at the bottom of the invoice.

Mike

From Dave ******** to Me:

cmon man quit dicking me around and put some real shit on there. i dont know what kind of bullshit shop you are running over there, but neither me or my wife would believe this thing

and fix the car info. out of all the guesses you could have made you guessed that i drive a fucking delorean? for real dude?

From Me to Dave ********:

Sorry, you just struck me as the kind of guy who would have a DeLorean.

If you really think your wife isn't going to fall for that, I'll give you a more realistic looking document. Here is a realistic bank statement you can use to show your wife where your money went.

Mike

Attachment:


From Dave ******** to Me:

wow thats great buddy thanks for nothing you fucking retard
hey why dont you go fuck yourself in the ass with your transgasket differential. what a douchebag

Twofer Tuesday

Joan Jett.

Need I say more??

Ok, I will. She was hot.

And Still is.

Watch this one boys, you won't be dissapointed.
Do Ya Wanna Touch Me


Bad Reputation


Then...circa 1983-84


Now...2010


See "The Runaways" movie. Its good.

En Fuego

Late yesterday afternoon there where some hellacious thunderstorms building and moving east from the Everglades. They normally don't make it all the way to the beach. Usually kept just to the west of I-95 by the onshore beach breezes. Yesterday afternoon was no different. The elements all worked perfectly by the time early evening was upon us and the storm clouds moved north as the sun was setting.

We were out to dinner at the time, sitting outside on the patio of the restaurant enjoying our margaritas on ice With salt. ;) Slowly an eerie orange glow infiltrates our awareness. It happens so slowly that you don't really notice until you glance outside and see everything is bathed in bright orange. I had to see this so I got up and walked off the patio into the parking lot around a tall hedge line. I look west and saw this.

W.O.W.

Double W.O.W.


I'm positive I missed an even more amazing shot by not noticing this 5 minutes earlier. And these pics do not do it justice, although pretty good for a phone. I've seen some amazing sunsets down here in the last 20 years. I think this one takes the cake.

Interview

Yeah, I feel the same way sister. mmmhm.

Its only 18 seconds long, but I bet you watch it more than once. =)


Its Monday, I'm home "sick" from work *cough*cough* and the sun is beaming. Hmmmmmmmmm, what to do, what to do???

12 Seconds

I made it 12 seconds into this video before the blubbering began. 10 minutes and a half a roll of toilet paper later my eyes were all but swollen shut and I'd run out of snot. I know this feeling. I've felt this feeling. Its an awesome feeling like no other.
Thank you to Every soldier, past, present and future for what you do, what you sacrifice and what your families sacrifice. I do appreciate you.


My mother would kill me if she knew I posted these pics. lol
This is the first time my mom is seeing Lauren in 6 months. It was the first 6 months in the military so it was new to all of us, not just Lauren. November through April is a long time to not see your beloved grandchild. Especially when you witnessed her birth, watched her grow up through the school years (sometimes living in your house), see her graduate high school and then see her off to Boot Camp. She didn't go to Laurens PIR (graduation) from Navy Boot Camp that January because she doesn't fly. Not even for her beloved granchild.

It would be 4 more long months after that graduation before her grandbaby sailor could come home on leave.

Anxiously we wait. We know the flight has landed. Where is she???

THERE SHE IS!!!


This is 6 months of missing all wrapped up in 1 minute.




Still she cries!!

Her grandparents couldn't stop touching her.
I get it. During PIR weekend, I couldn't touch her enough either. I still can't when I see her. lol

1/2 day of work for me Friday and its all about the beach for the next 3 days.
Have a fantabulous Friday and weekend all. muahs!

Nancy Reagan

Got this via email from a friend yesterday. Too good not to repost.

We could all learn so much from this elegant and gracious lady. You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980's.

Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan.

There is speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having been rehabilitated. Consequently, you will appreciate the following letter from Nancy Reagan to John Hinckley:

To: John Hinckley
From: Mrs. Nancy Reagan

My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know that we bear no grudge against you for shooting President Reagan. We are fully aware that mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. We're confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive man.

Best wishes,
Nancy Reagan & Family




P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. You might want to look into that.


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! That made me laugh!!